Chibified
by Selim
Summary: COMPLETED. It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind, and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.
1. Chapter 1

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist  
**Pairings**: Roy + Edward 

* * *

It had been a small book in the back of the library that had caught the blond alchemist's attention. Covered in dust, the pages were a slight yellow that made it tear easily when Ed had first opened the book. Most of the books in Central's library were well read and also well taken care of, so it didn't explain why this book, thick with material involving alchemy, had been so carelessly ignored to age with old texts that had long since been forgotten.

The librarian hadn't even known of its existence when he brought it forward so he could check it out. Instead, she pushed it towards the blond, smiling sincerely, and asked him to keep the book – it wasn't receiving the love it deserved in the library. Ed, after much persistence from the librarian, had dragged it back with him towards his bedroom. An hour later, he was addicted to its every word, loving each drawing and text that explained even the most forbidden of alchemy.

What he loved most, however, was the information it gave on the philosopher's stone, along with the alchemy circle needed to transmute the object he so desired with a list of equivalencies that had been monitored over time. His new best friend, the blond hugged the book tightly. Sure, that alchemy circle was smudged, maybe even difficult to read, but nothing was difficult for him! Ed analyzed over the drawing before looking over his metal arm. No matter what the cost, this was going to be worth it.

He had been so enthralled with the words, he never noticed his brother enter the room and try to grab his attention until the bitter cry of the soul brought him back to earth. "What are you reading, big brother? I thought you said you read everything in the library."

"Apparently I hadn't." Ed smiled. "This, Al, is the book we've been looking for!" He all but shoved the page he'd been reading up on in his brother's face. "The philosopher stone! The transmutation circle design, all we needed to know had been in the back of the library with all those service manuals that no one ever reads!" As if it were made of glass, he put the book down and swept his eyes over the floor. Their dorm would have to do, he thought as he reached through the desk by his bed and pulled out a marker. "Give me a second to draw their design out – I'd feel a lot better if it was drawn rather than an image I thought up." He fell to his knees and flicked the cap of the marker off.

"Big brother, I don't think we should mess with this circle until we have it checked over with other state alchemists, to ensure it's the real deal." Alphonse flinched as the flat smell of permanent marker washed over the room, like an intoxicating aura. "The Colonel might want to know what this is as well, in case something bad happens to us." Again.

Almost with a sneer of pride, Ed waved his hand dismissively. "And let our findings be lost in all the red tape? I've read all the notes over and over again, and the equivalency is actually reasonable compared to a lot of the alchemy we've seen, and most anyone who's used this to make the Philosopher Stone signed their name at the bottom, along with the year of use just to confirm it." He had glanced it over numerous times, and had noted that all the names listed over hundreds of years had been respected alchemists. He fully believed what he read, and for such men to have lived until a ripe old age happily, it had to work.

"Big brother…" Al whined fruitlessly as Ed's wrist flicked a symbol mirrored in the book before continuing on with his circle. "…Something bad is going to come out of this, I just know it." Still, his words fell on deaf ears as his eager brother finished his alchemy circle, looking at it with awe. "Let's just put a rug over it and leave it, Ed. Something like this, so easy to obtain, couldn't be good. Look at us already, what more can this take from us?" His brother's life? Al shook his head, not wanting to think of it. He stepped towards the door.

"We won't know until we try Al." Ed scribbled out the last part of the circle. It was rather easy to assemble, but that didn't mean anything! It just meant Central was full of idiots (something Ed knew for the longest time).

Again, the armor scooted towards the door. "I'm going to get the Colonel to look it over first, Ed. That way we can be sure nothing will happen!" That said the hunk of metal ran down the corridor fast, leaving Ed to his musings as the blond double-checked his array. Looked good. With what little information available on it, he was a little concerned about the outcome, but not enough to stop his actions as he settled forward on the ground and stationed both his metal hand and his real hand against the circle. This could just be a dud; just in case he planned to process the energy elsewhere if anything went bad.

Like magic, the circle began to light up. In gust of wind, Ed felt himself tighten up and clench the ground to keep from flying. How powerful! He screamed as his skin started burning, but no matter what he did to abandon the circle, he found himself unable to pull away even as items that had surrounded his room began breaking and crashing to the ground. Dirt he hadn't known about flooded his eyesight as Ed fell against the ground, bowing towards the circle as his skin began to burn and shimmer. But people had survived this. There were names listed on the side…

What have I done was the last thought that entered Ed's mind as he fell unconscious. The lights cracked above him, sending the room into darkness. The door was thrown open but it was too late as the circle deactivated and everything crashed to the ground. "Full Metal! Are you okay?" Roy screamed across the room as the dust settled to the ground. In the middle of a room, a child sat up. Everything was quiet as the soldiers and Al stared in the room at the little blond child who was no more than four years old. Little Ed blinked at them before he threw his head back and screamed out, "Mommy-!"

* * *

"Colonel, what should we do about this?" Riza put her hands on her hips as she watched Havoc give Edward a lollypop. Happily, the child stuck the large ball of sugar in his mouth and suckled it, his large eyes intent on Breda's impersonations. Everyone else in the room was still surrounding the child as Roy sat at his desk with the journal in his hands. In the distance, Al squeezed tightly in a ball. "Havoc! Take that cigarette out of your mouth!" She grabbed the stick from the blond Second Lieutenant's mouth.

Glancing up from the journal, Roy rubbed his temples. "I'm not surprised Full Metal wasn't listening to your warnings, Al." He put the papers down. "Though it would be nice had he. These papers were listed as burned years ago. They aren't reliable in the least and has nothing to do with the Philosopher's Stone as it list. It's a gift of eternal life if you keep using it. It takes years off your life, but you're never sure how many you lose. Some people have disappeared because they used it to a point they weren't even born; some it took a week off. These names are those that have tried it but not all of them succeeded. I will admit this much – Ed has his arm and leg back. I suppose that's an accomplishment."

"But look at him!" Al waved his hands frantically.

On the table, Ed popped his sucker out of his mouth. He ignored the plush toy Fuery tried putting in his face in favor of staring over at the body of armor. "We have armor like that at home! Mister, why are you wearing your armor?" He kicked his legs out, thumping them noisily against the table he was sitting on.

Rubbing the back of his head, Al leaned forward. "Eh. Heh. It, uh, looks cool?" He tried.

"Not really." The little boy sucked harder at his candy, turning to face the soldiers that were trying to entertain him. "Where's my mommy?"

The group stopped moving. Plopping on the couch, Al lowered his head in his hands. It seemed like forever before Roy stood up. "Your mother sent you here on a small vacation. You were interested in some alchemy and we're here to give you a few lessons to decide if you want to be an alchemist."

The look on the blond's face proved that the boy was really thinking about Roy's statement. Leaning forward, Ed opened his mouth. With wide amazement, he watched the candy fall onto the carpet. It was quickly forgotten when the blond hopped down and ran towards the phone on Roy's desk. "Mommy says I'm too little!" He reached for the phone. Quickly, Roy hung it up again. "I want my mommy!" Ed fell on his bottom and pushed away fat tears with his fist.

Running over next to the blond, Fuery put the stuffed toy in the boy's hands, but Ed rejected it. Throwing his head back, the little boy began to cry loudly. "Gah! Will you shut him up?" Roy stuffed his fingers in his ears. Leaning down, Riza awkwardly lifted Ed into her arms, but it didn't help matters as the boy began wailing louder and flailing his arms. "That's not helping! Do something!" Running forward, Al reached for his brother, but Ed pulled away and screamed more. Giving up, Roy reached over and pulled the boy from Riza and into his own arms. He didn't relent his hold no matter how much Ed fought to break free. After a little while the boy calmed down and the Colonel sat the child on his desk. "Your mother told us," he continued, "that she couldn't teach you. She wanted you to learn properly so you don't make mistakes. You'll just be here a few days or weeks then you'll be home with your mother. Okay?"

Rubbing his moistened eyes, Ed nodded. "Are all of you alchemists?" He whispered with a hiccup.

"Well, he is. The rest of us are just…here?" Havoc chose his words carefully. Breda, Fuery, and the others quickly nodded. Roy blinked before putting his hands on both sides of Ed.

"You don't look like an alchemist…"

Suddenly, Ed grunted and crossed his legs. "Is something wrong Ed?" Fuery leaned over the desk. Ed pulled away slightly towards Roy's ear.

"I have to go peepee…" He whispered nervously. Blinking, Roy sighed and helped the boy down. Ed stood still, holding his hand to Roy. "Mommy goes with me 'cause Al and I make messes." He shook his hand with want, his knees bending as he bounced in his spot. From the distance, Al snorted down a laugh as Roy took the blond's hand and led the boy to his private bathroom. Ed tugged again, pointing towards the bathroom.

"You can go yourself," Roy unclasped their hands and walked back towards his desk. When he seated, he noticed that Edward still hadn't gone in the bathroom and was standing cross-legged, grabbing himself. "Go to the bathroom." He ordered. Instead of turning in the bathroom, Ed stood still for a few more seconds before waddling back towards a chair in the room. "I thought you had to go pee." Roy whispered.

"I, I don't gotta anymore." Ed hid his face.

Standing up, Al lifted his older brother up and turned towards the bathroom himself. "It's okay, Edward. We'll just change your pants. Can someone get us the smallest uniform you can find or PT shorts?" Nodding, Falman walked out of the room and returned with the smallest shorts they had and gave them to Al. Riza phoned someone to clean up the puddle in front of the bathroom while giving a concerned look to the wide-eyed Colonel.

"He can't help it, Colonel?" She offered. "Okay, so know we have to decide what we're going to do."

"It's simple. I'm going to ask for fellow state alchemist to analyze this circle and develop a countering circle and we'll return Ed to his proper age. Until then, we treat Ed like this child he is and hope that no repercussions occur in the end with his memories." Roy settled back and shut the notebook. "Afterwards, we burn this book." He leaned back as the door opened to his office and Ed strutted in wearing over-sized clothing. The first place the little blond ran was to the colonel's lap, climbing up to stare into the man's eyes.

"When are we going to study alchemy? Can we start now? Please, please, please?" He begged.

Ignoring the blond, Roy continued. "Now, who's up to keeping Little Ed?"

"I'm not little!" Ed threw baby punches and kicked as Roy held him away.

Riza rubbed her chin. "Well I can't."

"Dorms won't let me."

"Nor me."

"I'm certain some medical research said smoking around a young child isn't healthy."

Al raised his arm in the background. "I can take care of him!"

"No!" Ed screamed. "I wanna stay with mister teacher!" He reached his arms around Roy's neck. All eyes turned onto Ed, not ready for his input. "Metal-man's," they assumed he meant metal man, "scary! I want mommy to find me with teacher!" He tightened his arms as Roy tried pulling away. "Don't make me go away, mister teacher! I'll be good! I'm sorry for peeing my pants!"

Uncomfortably, Roy unclasped the boy's tightened grip. "Get him a dorm then! I'm _sure_ there are some extras."

Almost smugly, Riza stepped back. "You know the rules, Colonel, children aren't allowed in dorms and if one is to be in there, they can't be left unsupervised. Obviously the only one still open to take care of our bundle of _joy_ is you. And dorms won't be an issue. It just works that Edward," she earned a smile from the child, "wants to stay with you. What's the worse that can go wrong?"

"I'm not parental material." Roy snorted. "I can see him on fire by tomorrow. I have no extra bed at my apartment for children. No children clothes. No toys. He'll be bored out of his mind, and you heard that Alphonse wants to take care of him."

Glancing up in disbelief, Edward looked at the metal encased shell. "You're name's Alphonse? I've got a brother named Alphonse! You can call me Ed! But not Eddie! I hate Eddie!"

If he could, Al would be smiling as he took the little blond's hands in his metal ones. "I'll call you Ed, then. You can call me Al, if you want."

"Okay!"

Clearing his throat, Roy drew the attention back to himself. Riza stood behind him with a telltale look taking her face, her gun returning to the pocket under her jacket. "I'll take Edward with me then. Tomorrow, we'll have a meeting to decide what to do go from here. Dismissed." An array of salutes was given to him before his office emptied, leaving him, Al, and Edward - the latter fighting not to suck on his thumb as he looked around. "Edward, why don't you go…do whatever it is kids do while I talk to Al about…grown up stuff?" The man stumbled on the last words. Especially since Al wasn't a child, but the pre-teen was probably affected at being the oldest little brother. Nervously, the boy dropped to the floor and ran towards the door. He almost tripped once before he was running out of the office. "So, Al…" Roy chose his words carefully, "think about it this way. You finally can get all that stuff you couldn't have until you were older than Ed?" Stupid joke, but he couldn't help trying to ease the mood.

"Why can't Ed come stay with me?" Al slammed his hands on the table.

"We're not sure how much this might affect him if we turn him back into an adult. We have to keep his real memories there and this new childhood as part of the old one without contradicting anything. You wouldn't want him to be confused when we get him as a sixteen year old again, do you?"

Al nodded. "I want him to be okay…"

"Then trust us. Be 'Metal-man' and a friend to Ed, and we'll help you refrain from bringing up a past he doesn't have right now. Remember, he's now a four year old child whose mother's alive and alchemy is a far off dream for him." Roy clasped his hands under his chin. "Don't worry so much. He'll be safe."

"Okay…" Al whispered. Turning to the door, he abandoned the Colonel to continue reading up on the alchemy circle that caused the entire situation.

* * *

"Stay." Roy looked over his shoulder as he walked down the hall of his small, two-bedroom apartment and into his home office where he kept extra blankets and pillows. When he returned to the living room, he noticed that the little blond hadn't stayed put as he ordered. Edward's (the teen) clothes were thrown about in the room, but the child was nowhere to be seen. Scared that the blonde had left the apartment, Roy ran to check if his door was still locked as he always did when entering his personal home. It was, meaning Ed was somewhere inside. "Elric!" He yelled down the hall.

When he found his bedroom door, he was initially concerned that Edward was in there. It wasn't messy…to say. There were still remnants of his last one night tryst in random areas of the room, but that didn't mean Edward wouldn't have gone in there. Cracking the door open, Roy stuck his head in the room, and Ed squealed loudly. With the blankets over his head, the little blond shuffled to the end of the bed. "Didn't I say to stay in the living room?"

Giggling, the lump in his blankets shifted but other than that Ed remained quiet.

Carefully, Roy approached the bed and reached under the blankets. Grabbing Ed's sides, he lifted the child up into his arms. "That's my bed! You're sleeping on the couch." Squealing, Ed flailed his arms as he was carried back in the living room and deposited on the couch. The lights were dimmed as Roy returned down the hall. "The bathroom's right here. I'll leave the light on tonight."

The child lay still for a while. His golden eyes watched the lights in the back from one room to the other until Roy returned to his bedroom, yawning. Again, Ed waited, watching the clock above the radio click as the hands turned. When both fell onto the highest number that Ed couldn't read, the boy rolled off the couch and ran to climb in bed with his teacher where it was comfortable.

OoOoO**TBC: R&R**OoOo


	2. Chapter 2

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist  
**Pairings**: Roy + Edward 

* * *

**Thank you (and sorry for not updating recently)**: (FF) KeveTenjoin, Crysania Fay, Twinkle-Twilight, Demonskid, Chibibunny-chan, Evil Ball of Fluff, PuppylovePyro, (AFF) Nomdeplume, Dana, Of Apples and Honey, Fly, Amethyst-eyed-Koneko, DancingPixies, SephisHikari, Ginny, Milky, Macmac, and Rucina Dema.

* * *

Roy Mustang had never prided himself on being a morning person, any of the birds that liked to chirp outside his window could tell you that. He'd fried thousands of them. Roy groaned as he plucked his head out of his cocoon of blankets. What a horrible dream he had. Ed had become a child and moved into his house. Roy groaned. It wasn't a dream; it was a nightmare! Rubbing his temples, Roy flung his legs over the side of the bed and stepped forward where a full-length mirror stood. Without a second thought, he plucked the brassiere from a prior girlfriend off the edge of the mirror, and looked at the black lines under his eyes. Fucking nightmare gave him a horrible night's sleep!

Tiredly, he walked out of his room towards his bathroom. Absently, he noted the faucet was leaking and put it as a list of things he'd need to fix sometime. After washing his face, he began brushing his teeth. His tiredness didn't relent as he promised himself a steaming cup of coffee before dressing for work. His bathroom rituals done, the man started towards his kitchen when his ears caught the sound of clinking in the room. At first, he regretted not having his gloves to attack his intruder. Slowly, he approached the kitchen and turned the corner. Ed flinched at Roy's suddenness and dropped the freshly delivered bottle of milk on Roy's pristine kitchen floor, shattering the bottle into millions of pieces.

After initial shock of what he'd done kicked in, the little blonde started bawling. It was at that point the man realized that he hadn't been dreaming and he truly did bring a four-year-old child into his bachelor pad. "I'm sorry, mister teacher!" The child sobbed.

First things first, Roy mumbled a few curses under his breath as he cleaned up the mess up before it leaked under his icebox. "Don't," he started, "call me 'mister teacher'. Just call me Roy. Better yet, call me Colonel Mustang." Ed using it in only the politest of tones would be a first, and the colonel was going to suck polite, sweet, child Ed for all he was worth.

Nodding, the child hiccupped.

With the floor cleaned up, Roy put the soaked rag in his wash hamper and began sweeping up the broken glass pieces. "Have you had breakfast yet?" He asked.

"Uh-uh." The boy shook his head negatively. "There's no food to eat." He bit at his bottom lip. "Milkman came! He was nice! He gave me candy, see, see, see!" The little blonde dug through the pockets of his PT shorts and tugged out melted chocolate, taking it from the cheaply made wrapper. By the time he'd taken it out completely and brought it towards Roy's face with smudgy brown fingers and chocolate that looked more like shit than the actual sugary treat.

"Don't you ever Mmph-!" Roy coughed when the chocolate and fingers were stuffed into his mouth. Gagging, Roy grabbed the boy's hand and pulled it out of his mouth. "You little shit!" He spat the gooey substance into his pristine sink before dropping the broken glass from the milk bottle in the trash. So much for cleaning his mouth out with that. Dunking his head under the sink, the colonel suckled in water and swished it over each section of his mouth. Spitting it out, he glowered at the little blonde staring up at him with big brown eyes. Slowly his anger began to demise with a sigh. "Whatever. Let me get dressed, we need to get you new clothes and breakfast."

"I'na wanna." The boy muttered, fingers stuffed in his mouth to eat the remaining chocolate.

"I didn't ask if you wanted too, you're going too." Roy left the room to his bedroom to change into his uniform. From the kitchen, he could hear Ed kicking and screaming about not wanting to go. He's just being difficult, Roy reminded himself. Ed was just being himself. Something shattered and Roy winced. How wrong would it be to spank the child? Set the child on fire? Roy rubbed a wrinkle from his jacket as he pushed that idea away. _Remember, Roy: He's four, you're twenty-nine. You can handle this. Think of it like a mission and execute it with as much promise as it would take to become Führer._ Dressed, Roy checked himself one last time in the mirror before going down the stairs.

He wasn't really sure what he was expecting when he walked in his kitchen. Ed slamming his hands on the wooden floor paneling while kicking and screaming on the top of his lungs? Though this was the picture, it was the last thing the colonel expected. Knowing Ed, as FullMetal, the blonde would have torn his cabinets apart, turned items into random things, destroyed his plumbing system before taking a seat with a wide grin that screamed 'look what I did, colonel'. But obviously this wasn't the case. As if he were talking to one of his troops, Roy squatted down and spoke smoothly, "are you quite done now?"

The child fell quiet with a few choice sniffles. "I hate Mister Roy!"

"The feeling's mutual." Roy picked Ed up by the back of his shirt. "Now go get your shoes on. Maybe I'll even buy you a toy."

Falling to complete silence, Ed reached for Roy's uniform jacket. "I wanna train!"

"Sure. Sure. Whatever. Just go get your shoes on." Roy leaned back against the icebox as Ed dashed to the door and came back with his oversized boots and tugged them on. Hazardously, the shoelaces remained undone when the boy jumped to his feet. "Tie your shoes." The boy fell silent and stared at his boots. "Don't you know how to tie your laces?" The boy shook his head no. Sighing, Roy bent down and tightened the large leather material tight enough on the boy's thin legs so Ed wouldn't trip and hurt himself. "There, let's go." Roy started towards the door, his subordinate way ahead of him in haste. When his front door was locked, Roy left the apartment complex to keep up with Ed, only to find (in horror) that Ed had made it to the other side of a busy road. "Damn it! Edward Elric, get your ass over here!"

The little blonde glanced back before plopping on the ground.

"Don't make me come after you!"

Still Ed didn't move. Getting to the edge of the road, Roy waited impatiently for a fault in the traffic before storming across the street to Ed. Scared the child looked up and tried putting on a puppy dog expression. His pink bottom lip stuck out as the child cried, "I'm sorry!"

Grabbing the boy by the arm, Roy hoisted the child to his feet. "You don't just cross the street by yourself! What would have happened if you were seriously injured? Do you want me to call your mother?" He threatened.

"No! No call mommy!" The child screamed. "I'll be good!"

"Then you start behaving yourself." Roy huffed. Fuck. He was turning into a parent. Shaking his head, Roy grabbed the boy's hand and started down the street. "Let's get something to eat before we buy some clothes. How does pancakes sound?"

Licking his lips, Ed smiled up at his teacher. Roy blinked down at how bipolar the kid was. One second the child was in manic mode, then he was screaming, smiling, laughing, bawling, and once again smiling again. "Yummy! With suur-up?"

Realizing the boy was being slow and he only had an hour before he was to arrive at work, Roy lifted Ed into his arms and started down the road. "Whatever, just don't make-"

* * *

"-A mess." Roy stared over the sticky mess called Edward Elric. The blonde licked at his fork, rubbing syrup onto his nose and into his hair. His fingers were just as sticky as the twin fingers began playing in the pools of syrup on his once white plate. The waitress, an aging woman by the name of Victoria, was smiling at Ed's antics. "I'm really sorry, Vicky." Roy smiled at the woman that had become part of his life since he visited this restaurant at least once every week.

"Oh it's okay, Roy-dear!" Victoria smiled. Her widened face stretched more when Ed held up his plate, begging for more. "How about another glass of orange juice instead?"

"Okay!"

Picking up the boy's small cup, the waitress left the area for a second and returned with a full glass for the child. Returning near Roy, Victoria filled Roy's coffee cup before picking up their two plates. "So, is this your nephew, Roy?"

"No!" Roy grunted. "This is my … student. He wants to learn alchemy and I plan on teaching him. He won't be here long though." The man winced as he watched orange juice pour onto Ed's shirt. Confused, the boy stared down at the mess before his eyes filled to the brim with tears. "Don't cry," Roy reasoned quickly, "we're just about to buy you some new clothes anyway."

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Ed nodded and put the glass back on the table. Like a mother, Victoria rushed to dab a dry cloth on the boy's clothes to clean him off. Satisfied he was as dry as he could be the aging woman took a step towards the front counter and to the cookie jar for a large chocolate chip cookie that was as big as the child's stretched hand. Squealing in delight, Ed took it without any thanks and smashed as much into his mouth as he could possibly get. "Aren't you going to say anything?" Roy muttered, annoyed.

Confused, the blonde blinked before remembering his manners. "Han'oo m'am." Ed said while spraying crumbs.

"Oh, it's okay sweetie! We'll just charge it to Roy's tab."

Not really understanding but knowing that the phrase just pissed Roy off to no end, Ed smiled and thanked her for the cookie again. Rubbing his temples, Roy asked for the check, all while feeling the worse for his wallet after all this was done. He swore that if this was a crash course on having kids, he was going to remain a bachelor.

* * *

"Colonel." Riza greeted her commanding officer the minute Roy dragged the kicking and screaming Ed into the office. "Good morning – rather afternoon. Mister Elric, did you have a fun time with the colonel?" She bent down the minute the child latched himself to her leg.

"There'az a circus! I wanna see the monkeys!" The child cried.

Walking into his office, Roy took a seat at his desk, ignoring Ed's long tale about how the colonel was a big 'meanie' and wouldn't go to the circus to see the magician or let the blonde play with the monkey out front. Then there was the whole story about how the clothes Roy had bought were so stupid and looked 'just like Roy's' uniform. Personally, the Colonel didn't see any resemblance. Pressing the earpiece of his phone against his ear, Roy waited for the operator to pick up. "Hello, yes. This is Roy Mustang; I'm calling about assigning a false number just in case. Yes, I understand the problems this may cause, but I'm dealing with someone with…amnesia. He thinks his mother is still alive and I don't want to let him know the truth until he's a little more stabilized. Yes, I'll accept the charges, send them to this account." The military could pay for them. "All right, yes. Now, there might be a little boy calling from this phone at odd points of the month for his mother 'Trisha Elric' over in Risembool. I need you to wire the phone to Central's extension of Riza Hawkeye during working hours and her home phone during after hours and on Sundays. Yes, she knows this is happening. Okay, thank you." Hanging up the phone, Roy glanced at the door again.

Ed had been so persistent to call his mother just before he saw the circus. Figuring he couldn't just tell the boy there was no way to do so, Roy had to devise a plan. And fast. Riza wouldn't mind, and she was the only woman that he knew would do this off the military's dime if it were a mission. "Hawkeye, I need to speak with you for a minute!"

Nodding, the woman entered the room, leaving Edward clinging to his new toys, some linking logs. Glancing around, the little blonde rushed towards the cluttered desk with the very man that had given him lollipops the day before. He couldn't recall the man's name for the life of him, but saw something very similar to a stick of candy in his mouth. "Mister, mister!" He climbed onto the man's lap and shoved the box of toys in the man's face. "Can I have some candy? Can we put this together? Let's go to the circus!"

"'Names not Mister, Ed." The man put the toy down. "It's Jean Havoc, and no. I'm trying to work or the Colonel will have my ass." Putting the boy on the floor, Havoc returned to the papers he priory was working on.

Sticking his bottom lip out, Ed rushed to the next person. The person with big glasses. Again, he repeated his demands, this time adding a timed, "Mister Roy say you have to!"

"Colonel said I had to take you to the circus?" Fuery scratched his chin. "That seems rather strange, but I suppose I understand. Just let me confirm it with him and we'll head out."

"No! No!" Ed screamed, tugging on Fuery's hand again. "He say go now! Before the circus leaves!" The blonde tugged again. "I wanna see the monkey!"

Glancing towards the closed door, Fuery brushed his glasses up. "Um. Okay, since the Colonel ordered this." He took the boy's hand and started towards the door to go and see the animals, just as Ed wanted.

Inside the room, Riza sat on the long couch taking notes comfortably as Roy was on the phone again. Setting the headpiece down, Roy sighed. "The soonest a high ranking alchemist can visit is in a month. They have a general idea on what's going on though."

Riza nodded. "I noticed Colonel that, unless Ed's crying about something, he doesn't really speak like a four year old. Almost like subconsciously the older side still has control of speech."

"Probably." Roy clasped his hands. "I've noticed it too. When he's emotional, yes he can turn into a child again even though he hasn't used a large vocabulary yet. I think that FullMetal is in there, somewhere. I want Edward, however, monitored at all times while here and any cognitive changes that appear, I want to be informed of this immediately." Writing the note down, Riza stood up and approached the door. "And send Edward in here. I don't want him running around unsupervised in the offices."

Smiling over her shoulder, Riza nodded and left the room. Roy hadn't even relaxed when she rushed back in the room. "He's gone."

Confused, Roy sat up. "What?"

"Breda says that he saw Ed leading Fuery out of the building a little while ago on his way back from the men's room. He – Ed – was going on about magic or something. You don't think he was talking about alchemy or something like that, do you?" Riza whispered.

Thinking the sentence over, Roy jerked to his feet. "That damn circus! Hold all my calls and keep this place running, Lieutenant. I'll be right back." The colonel stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him. That idiot! Why would Fuery just leave Central Headquarters without permission? _Ed probably tricked him. Sneaky little brat._ He glanced around at the secretary in front. Demanding if Ed had come by, Roy left no room for the frightened man to stutter out that yes, Ed had left with Fuery in toll. Yelling and screaming, of all things, "monkeys!" in a chant with the _supposedly_ adult Fuery.

With his long steps it didn't take long for the adult to get to the exact location of the circus – well carnival to be more precise. A clown happily greeted at the front gate, asking for money for so many tickets to have fun while a woman with a beard tried to give him a flier. This was why the colonel refused to go to the circus! Roy rushed past the after giving a few dollars for the clown to leave him alone. There were just too many freaks to be real. "Edward Elric!" Roy yelled.

He traveled a few more feet before calling out the boy's name again. A few people glanced worriedly at him before the bearded lady from before approached. "What's wrong fella? Lose your kid in here?"

"Yes, something like that," Roy muttered, "and I'd like him back before he becomes a carnie."

Huffing, the woman stomped away. "And I was going to point you to the lost child facility!" She was gone long before Roy could apologize and ask for that direction. Breathing a relaxing sigh, Roy straightened himself. _Hold your anger until you find Fuery and Ed. Then unleash it all at once._

Again Roy began to search further in the festivities. Every blonde child he saw he pulled aside to see if they were Ed – this caused him to be hit by three purses, seven bags of food, and a fist by an angry father. Clutching a bloody nose, Roy stepped inside a top tent where a woman (dressed up as an elderly lady) was riding an elephant with a kid. And not just any kid. His kid. "Edward Elric!"

Ed grabbed hold of the elephant again while staring Roy's way. "Look Mister Roy! I'm riding a-a ella-fent!" The woman behind him laughed and helped the boy remained seated as a trapeze dropped down and picked the child up. Squealing in delight Ed was lifted onto a supporting bar with another trained specialist. Roy watched (in horror), his mouth agape. "I'm taller than you too!" The child screamed down, excited.

"Isn't he just a blast, folks!" The ringleader yelled, drawing the crowds' attention again. Above everyone, Ed was lifted into the supporter's arms and taken off the ramp. On the floor again, Roy raced over to the two just as Fuery was coming from the sidelines to claim Ed again.

"Colonel Mustang, Sir!" Fuery saluted in greeting. Behind him, Ed shuffled into the small adult's backside for cover. "Is there a problem at central command?"

In a calm, low voice, Roy whispered smoothly. "Why are you here?"

"E-Ed said that y-you gave me the order to take him to the circus?"

"And you weren't the least bit curious about why I'd give such an outrageous order without ordering you to come to my office to personally give it to you? Why the hell would I tell a child to give the order!" Roy couldn't hold his tone down anymore. Ed clenched his eyes shut at the shout.

Fuery rubbed his hands to his sides, clenching the loose fabrics on his pants. "I'm sorry sir! He just became rather convincing that you knew exactly where we should be!"

Probably was convincing. Roy breathed. "Fine. Return to Central. Edward Elric." He turned his attention to the child that no longer had a place to cower when Fuery disappeared in the crowds to leave as quickly as he could. "Why did you lie?" Roy started slowly. The child shrugged his shoulders. "I…" he took a second, choosing his words carefully. He had to find something that would affect the child the most. "I was really scared." He finally said.

Shocked, the child leaned forward. "You were? But grown ups are never scared."

"Well I was," Roy said bending to his knee. "When I went looking for you were gone and I thought that someone might have taken you away or something. Your mother will be really upset if I lost you." He noticed Ed's chin had slumped down on his chest so the boy was no longer looking at him in the eyes. Reaching over the colonel lifted Ed's face to meet his own. "Do you understand?"

Digging his toe in the dirt, Ed nodded. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Teacher not scared no more?"

"No." Roy smiled. "Now let's get back to work. I'm sure Al will help you put together those logs."

"Okay!" Ed held his hands up to be picked up. Without a thought, Roy complied. When he realized that he'd done so, the adult glanced at the happy child snuggled into his arms. _Is this what being a parent feels like?_


	3. Chapter 3

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist **Pairings**: Roy + Edward 

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**Thank you**: (FF) Syao9, Demonskid, Evil Ball of Fluff, Gothic-InuFluffy, PuppylovePyro, InuyasanKagomerlovers, Kane-Chan, KissMehYaoiLuvinArse, Mikayasha, Ash982cute4u, Meiko8804 (AFF) SLEEPLESS, Fly, Nomdeplume, Dana, Of Apples and Honey, VadMustang, Amethyst-Eyed-Koneko, SkippingAlice, and MacMac

**NOTES:** A lot of people have asked why this story is put where it's suppose to be and, on AFF, why there are no warnings. Mostly because some of the warnings may just scare people away and assume that Roy's going to do them. Yes, this fic will get to the rating of M with Child Molestation and it's not Roy who will be doing it, but Ed will get molested. The idea that it's going to happen is in this chapter.

About the pairing. Roy + Ed. There is a suggestion that the two will be together or have been together. I haven't really decided. Right now, LITTLE Ed's feelings are based on Ed's feelings, but he can't understand them. Though it hasn't shown yet, Ed will show an 'idealistic' complex that there are feelings for Roy but he mislabels them. From there, we'll have to see where they go. Sorry if any of this confuses you.

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On the very top shelf was this very colorful red book and Ed wanted it really badly because anything that was that colorful had to have equally vibrant pictures. Looking around the room, he noted a brunet woman putting books away off to the side but decided against asking her to get the book off the top shelf because Roy had told him not to be a trouble to anyone. Besides he was four! He was grown up enough to get his own book! So with new resolve, the child began his climb to the very top shelf.

The first few steps were easy and his feet fit perfectly on each board until he made it halfway and his body (and the shelf) began moving. Clutching hold on the shelf above him, Ed screamed as the bookcase went down. It didn't collide with the ground, instead hitting a bookshelf before that. After a second, the next bookshelf went down and Ed screamed. On the ground, the blond stared at the mess that had just happened and squeaked. The librarian was far ahead, frantically looking at the mess. In the matter of seconds Ed was out of the room, the book he wanted long forgotten.

In the hallway, the small blond took off down the hall and into the bathroom. _Mister Roy won't think I caused the mess now!_ He ran into a stall next to the urinals and latched a lock behind him. Safe. Smiling, Ed turned around to his new surroundings and gasped. Reaching over he grabbed a roll of paper near the toilet and spread it before himself. What was this for? To clean themselves? Ed sucked on his tongue. His mom had a rag in some fresh water near the outhouse. So that made much sense. Excited, Ed put the paper in the toilet. He'd heard that this stuff could be flushed!

After dumping the entire roll into the toilet, Ed flushed the paper and watched with excitement as the water vanished down the hole with some of the paper before it all stopped. Water began to fill up and pour over the rim. Stepping back, Ed squealed and ran out of the bathroom. And into a suit of armor. "Ed, were you in the library a second ago?" A concerned voice asked.

"No!" Ed cried, tears pouring down the rims of his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Al bent down and put his large hands on the child's shoulders.

Clamping his mouth shut, the small blond rushed past the large man and into the back office where Roy would be located. In the office, the man glanced up from his papers confused by Ed's entrance, but didn't mention anything as the child rushed to the other side of the desk and hid under the table. A second later, Al's voice came into the room from a distant location, "_What have you done, Ed!_"

Looking under his desk, Roy frowned. "What did you do now?"

"I wanted a book."

"Did you ask for help to get it?"

Ed fell silent. "That paper doesn't go down." He finally said, Roy blinked. "Mister Nelson told mommy that they made bathroom paper that can be flushed down – but mommy doesn't have a flushing toilet. You have flushing paper but it didn't go down." The child pulled his legs up and under his chin. Rubbing his eyes, Roy pulled his chair forward and locked the boy under the desk. Glancing up the man's leg, Ed put his chin on the older man's knee. It stiffened. "Mister Roy can I go out to play?"

"It's raining." Roy relaxed some and pulled his chair out. Ed shuffled into Roy's lap. "What time do you usually take a nap?" In the two days Ed had been a child, Roy realized, the boy had never once taken a nap like any other child would."

"I don't take naps," the child stifled a break in his voice. "Al takes naps. I'm a big boy." Roy rolled his eyes and picked the boy up. He had an emergency blanket and a pillow put out when they first arrived at work for just the occasion. Shuffling under the thin blanket, Ed kicked his feet up. Roy sighed and tucked the blanket tightly around the blond's small body as the sound of clanking neared his office door.

Leaning down to Ed's ear, Roy whispered, "Al will be here in a second. You can be awake to explain the mess you made here or you can go to sleep and let me make an excuse." Giggling, the child turned on his side away from Roy and closed his eyes. Sighing, Roy stood up and approached behind his desk when his office door was thrown open and almost five people stepped into the room. Al led the group inside the room and they surrounded the couch that Ed was hiding on. "What can I help you with?" Roy brought the attention towards him.

Al froze. "The bathroom is flooded."

"The library is thrown to bits!"

"Shelves toppled over!"

"The water is in the hall! Paperwork is damaged!"

"I just cleaned those rugs!"

Holding up his hand, Roy stopped the complaints immediately. Glaring over toward Ed's turned body, the colonel sighed. "I will punish him after his nap and have him help clean up what he can. The library will probably still be a mess by then. Have maintenance fix the toilet. Then begin cleaning the library." He frowned. "Dismissed." Four of the five left. Al faced Ed for a second, pulled the blanket up the boy's chest and stepped to the door.

"He, uh, we used to take naps at noon and mom would get us up at two. Then we went to bed just after dark – eight I think. I can't remember." Opening the door, he was gone and Roy sat back in his chair.

"You made quite the mess, didn't you?" Surprisingly the child didn't sit back up or move. The blankets did slump some and a sleeping, pale face was shown. For a second, Roy's lips coiled up to a smirk. So cute. "Hawkeye," the woman stepped into the door, "Do not forward any of my calls to my office. I'll come out there to take them. Also refrain from anyone coming in my office while Ed's asleep."

Glancing at the child, Hawkeye smiled. "Yes Colonel." She started towards the boy and tucked him in properly before heading towards the door with a giggle. "He's so cute when he's asleep." Roy smiled up in agreement. "Would you like me to tell the crap cook to set aside lunch for you and Ed?"

Turning to the sleeping child, Roy sighed. "No. Bring me something to eat and put aside a peanut butter sandwich for the kid, some fruit, and a cup of juice." He doubted Ed would be interested in the meals they were really eating there at central – dried out foods that had seen better days in the last war. And after the shopping spree to buy Ed clothing and things to live off of until they could fix this entire situation Roy didn't have the money to take Ed out for lunch everyday like he would when it was just himself. In the matter of minutes, Hawkeye had returned with his lunch, confirming that a child's meal was being made.

Pleased, Roy dismissed her and returned to his forms. He wasn't sure how long he was looking at the form, mindlessly picking at the instant potatoes that had been given to him, when the bundle began to stir on the makeshift bed. With a quick look at his clock, he noted it had only been an hour and not the two Al had mentioned the two usually had slept for. Golden eyes opened and blinked nervously before the child fell from the couch, grabbing his arm with a hiss. Almost as if it had grown to be too much, he let out an ear shattering scream as though he were being tortured. Roy was out of his seat and at the blonde's side in seconds. But it was like Ed didn't see him. Instead choosing to scream out for Roy – Colonel to be more precise. He threw his head back and screamed he was on fire. That he needed help. Someone save him before he collapsed on the floor again.

For a second, Roy was nervous about even touching the child or stirring the boy awake to see what the hell was going on. When shock finally wore off, he lifted the kid into his arms and sat up on the couch. Maybe it was like a night terror and he (the child) was reliving all of Ed's last thoughts. "Should I wake him...?"

"Maybe you should, Colonel." Havoc's voice cut in. Turning to the door, Roy growled. "Sorry, Ed started screaming and we were all concerned." Indeed everyone else close to Ed in the front office was standing at the door staring in. Al even looked concerned past his hollow form.

Running his fingers through Ed's blond hair, Roy watched as Ed stirred and rubbed his eyes. "How are you feeling, Ed?" He kept himself calm so he didn't frighte the sleepy child. The boy mumbled under his breath.

"I gotta go pee." Roy sighed and helped the boy onto his feet. Having learned from earlier experiences that, yeah, Ed could use the bathroom by himself but the boy couldn't be alone. Besides, Roy felt the need to pee, too. Expectantly, the child held out his hand and Roy led the boy into the bathroom. His office door closed and only Al remained in the room. Shutting the bathroom door, Roy watched as Ed sat on the toilet.

"What are you doing?"

"Goin' pee."

"That's not how you do it!" Roy found himself saying. The boy sobbed at the loudness of the man's voice. Helping Ed off the toilet, Roy turned Ed to face the toilet. "Follow my example," Roy said as he unzipped his pants and stood next to Ed, relieving himself. With wide eyes, Ed watched the entire scene unfold before him. Satisfied Roy used the toilet paper, cleaned the head and put the paper in the toilet. "Can you do the same?" Nodding eagerly, Ed followed suit, but with less aim. With more than needed, Ed wiped himself cleaned and under the instruction of Roy, cleaned the toilet seat. Done, Roy flushed and led Ed to the sink to wash their hands. Finally they opened the door to meet Al again.

"Hi Metal man!" Ed ran over and hugged the armored leg.

Al put a metal hand on Ed's head before nodding towards Roy. "Let's get you some lunch, then I have a _big_ surprise for you." Confused, Ed looked back at Roy but the man just waved the child off. When the two were completely gone, Roy folded Ed's bedding before taking a seat at his desk. His phone began ringing, signaling it was time to go back to work.

* * *

The clock in his office chimed five when Ed came back sobbing. After spending some time explaining to the egotistical child that the adults were right in making him clean the library, Roy had packed up his things in a briefcase and took Ed's hand. The front room was cleared of all but Fuery, Havoc, and Hawkeye who were busy getting everything finished to head home for the evening as well. "I'm gone. What I haven't done I'm taking with me." He took Ed's hand, who hid behind his pantleg. "Where's Alphonse?"

To his surprise, it was Fuery that responded smoothly. "He made a comment about calling, uh, the Rockbell's to insure a, uh, mechanic could come when we need them."

"Wow! The Rockbells! You mean Pinako and Winry? Winry's my friend." Ed danced on his heels. "I want to make her a doll with alchemy. Can you teach me Mister Roy?" He grabbed Roy's hand.

Sighing, Roy rubbed his temples. "We'll talk about it." Nodding towards his officers, Roy left the office with the small Ed chasing after. He didn't feel like heading straight home at the time being. Not with the way Ed was everywhere. So Roy had it all planned out when a park just across the street from his apartment came into view fifteen minutes later. It wasn't much, a metal slide and a wood merry-totter. This was also a more upper class park as well, though there was regular dirt under the toys, on the far corner in a small box was imported sand from the beach that the city did keep up. Some children were already playing, three total. A little girl and her twin sister were making castles in the sand and a small boy was taking every chance he had to tear it down when they weren't looking. Excited, Ed glanced up for permission, Roy nodded.

With Ed playing with the other children, Roy sat himself on an old, rotting bench with a man. There were two other parents on the left, Roy assumed the parents of one of the kids. The man next to him smiled. "That your boy, the blond?"

Not feeling like telling the truth, Roy nodded. "Yeah. He's mine."

"Must look like his mother." The man commented before returning to his book Roy wasn't aware he had. Sighing, Roy opened his briefcase and pulled out several documents to work on. Why had he thought with Ed a child his amount of paperwork would disappear? Even as a child, all his papers had to be accident reports to the Fuhrer about why one of his state alchemists was sucking his thumb in his sleep now.

"Mister Roy..."

"...Yes Ed?" Roy glanced up. The park was empty except for the man that still was reading next to him.

"Can you play on the 'totter with me?" He whimpered, pointing towards the lone machine surrounded by dirt. Roy glanced at the old toy before at his paperwork. He'd barely brushed the surface of his paper and it was due in tomorrow. "Please?" Ed whined.

The man next to him smiled. "Your daddy's-"

"He's _not_ my daddy." Ed puffed his cheeks furiously. Roy raised a brow. Interesting.

"Ah. We'll 'mister Roy' is busy with his work. How about I play with you on the merry-totter?" He put his book down on his seat. "Is this okay, uh... Mister Roy?" He tried. Frowning, Roy nodded. "Well let's go play Ed...ward? By the way, my names Tom Buttram." Taking the child's hand, he led Ed to the merry-totter and started playing. Roy watched the mechanism rise and fall as the two people talked amiably before he returned to his work.

The next time he glanced up, the sun was setting and Ed was squealing in delight. What he saw made his eyes widen because, as an adult, he didn't think the situation proper. Ed was going down the slide, completely sitting on the other man's lap. It looked...so wrong. Roy shoved his papers into his briefcase and stormed towards the slide. "Let's go Ed." He grasped the boy's hand and pulled the boy into his arms. Ed gasped and clutched tightly to Roy's neck in concern. "Good night, Mister Buttram." Roy left the play yard and crossed the empty street towards his apartment.

Confused, Ed whined until he was set on the ground at Roy's apartment door while the colonel fished in his pockets for his keys. "What's wrong, Mister Roy?"

Glancing down at the child, Roy blinked. How to explain what was so inappropriate to a four-year-old? He'd seen Ed sit on everyone's lap at work, but that man looked...excited. Horny. Roy sighed. "Look. That man there, I don't want you playing with him anymore. Now inside, let's start some dinner. What are you hungry for? Taking off his shoes at the door (Ed following the example) Roy shut and latched his front door before heading into the kitchen. Ed ran in behind, pulling a chair away from the table to sit.

Chewing his lips, Ed whispered that he didn't know. Going through the cabinets, Roy smiled. "How about spaghetti?" He asked. Ed smiled brightly and nodded. "Well get a bowl, fill it up with water." Turning on his gas stove, Roy supervised Ed on putting the well filled bowl on the stove as he went about getting noddles from the local bakery out of its protective shielding. Smiling, Ed brought his chair over to Roy and watched the pot heat up just in front of him. "A watched pot," Roy went on preparing sauce, "doesn't boil."

"Then what can I do?" Ed asked eagerly.

"Wash your hands and stir this mess while I cut tomatoes." Nodding, Ed turned on the faucet and sprayed water as he washed his sandy fingers. Reaching for the soap, it slid out of his hands a few times, Ed cleaned his nails before Roy shut off the faucet. Taking a rag, Ed dried his fingers before reaching for the bowl awkwardly. Sighing, Roy tugged the chair over so Ed wouldn't topple over. "Does your mom let you cook with her?"

"No."

"I see." Roy dropped the tomatoes into Ed's bowl with a warning about over stirring. Turning he added the noodles into the boiling water and turned down the temperature on his stove. Lifting the filled pan from Ed's hand, Roy put it on the other burner. "Would you set the table, Ed?"

Nodding, Ed opened all the cabinets before bringing out two plates. He then opened another cabinet and pulled out two cups. Roy fetched the silverware for Ed so all his drawers wouldn't be opened and rummaged through. Smiling his thanks, Ed hurried to set the table before rushing down the hall. Frowning, Roy yelled for Ed to wash his hands again after the toilet flushed. Returning, Ed giggled as he opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk (freshly bought, much to Roy's annoyance). He filled Roy's cup with milk before moving to put water in his cup.

Putting the milk away, Roy finished dinner in a few minutes and the two ate in somewhat silence. Together they cleaned the dishes, Ed took a bath and came down dressed in some of Roy's old PT uniform. Jumping on the couch Ed screeched for the radio to come on, so he could listen to his favorite radio show. Upon hearing its name, Roy had to sit down and explain a depressing story that it didn't reach this section of the world where, in truth, the show was canceled on the eve of the boy's twelfth birthday. So, they settled for a detective story about some alchemist that was also a spy for the red army trying to solve the crimes of his friends. Roy called it blasphemy, understanding a lot of the under tones, where Ed thought it was the greatest thing in the world. When his clock chimed eight, he lifted Ed into his arms and brought the boy upstairs.

"Do I get to sleep in your bed tonight?" The child asked.

"Yes. This way I know you're not answering the door at random hours of the day." Roy tucked the blankets around Ed's form. Grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from his closet, Roy almost shut the door when Ed squealed about it being too dark. Defeated, he left the door opened, went down stairs, and set up a bed on the couch for himself before returning to the last form to do. Last, he recorded that days events before calling it a night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist **Pairings**: Roy + Edward

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**Thank you (and sorry for not updating recently)**: (FF) Demonskid, shadows-insanity, Evil Ball of Fluff, Syao9, KeveTenjoin, Mieko8804, EmoNekoNinja, InuyashanKagomerlovers, TuffChick, Gothic-InuFluffy, KissMehYaoiLuvinArse, Kyothefallenkit, SoSickOfNyQuil, Theo Darkstar, Puppylovepyro, (AFF) Amethyst-Eyed Koneko, Eremi22, Your Burden, Anon, Rucina Dema, and Kags21 

**Notes**: Last chapter a lot of people were like "gasp, obviously a guy named "butt-ram" can't be trusted." Thought I'd spread some light. Buttram is actually the last name of a family friend. I'm not good with coming up names, I choose last names from families close to my own. Randy Buttram, a good friend of my dads, has three children from his first marriage, two from the second and respects all the kids in my family like his own. Sorta like a godfather for us when my dad brought him home eighteen years ago in Germany and said "Honey, I found him at the comic book store, can I keep him?" (True Story).

* * *

"Mister Roy..." A squeaky voice whined. Cracking open his eyes, Roy noted it wasn't even dawn outside his window, meaning there was no reason for Ed to be up. Groaning, the adult threw his hand over his head and tried to go back to sleep, hoping the child would return to bed and wait until morning before bothering anyone else. "Mister Roy, I had a scary dream. Mommy was hurt..." 

"Mm. Hm." Roy tossed onto his side. 

The little voice broke with a hiccup. "Al was crying and mommy was screaming. And I was crying. And there was lots of blood. My arm hurts..." The last phrase came off in a wail. The colonel sat up, finding himself unable to sleep as his body was pounced on by a blond haired, golden eyed Ed. "I was scared!" 

_Full Metal's memories?_ Roy bit back a yawn as he wrapped his arms around the child and started towards the back room to ease the child to sleep again. "Your mother's fine," he lied smoothly, "So is Al. In fact, she called me not to long ago, wanting know how her little boy was doing." For a second, he thought the child wasn't going to believe him, but a wide smile replaced the obscure look before Ed squealed in delight. "See? Even Al was there, but he was sleeping. Just like you're suppose to be." His bedroom door was wide open and rumpled bedding greeted him on the floor. Picking his comforter up, Roy placed Ed on the bed where his hand's touched something wet. And smelly. _ Dear God. No!_ Pulling Ed off the bed and on the floor, Roy ran his hand over the wet spot again and brought it near his face. As he expected. Urine. "Ed!" 

Sobbing, again, the boy grabbed his large shirt. Reaching for his bedside lamp, Roy turned on the lights. The front of Ed's pajamas was wet, meaning it hadn't been too long since he'd peed. "I had an accident." Ed finally admitted. "I was _really_ scared!" He explained loudly, fat tears rolling down his face. 

Groaning Roy dropped his head onto his chest. His bed! He'll get his revenge, the dark side of him yelled. FullMetal's paycheck was always open to shots when the boy destroyed other's property. Grabbing the blankets and sheets, Roy tossed them in a basket in the corner, reminding himself to do some clothes washing before he headed to work. "Get undressed." He instructed. Ed rushed to tug off all his clothes, replacing them with an oversize shirt from Roy's closet. Sighing, Roy lifted the little boy into his arms and returned to his couch in the living room. Ed spread out above him as the older of the two tried to fall asleep again. 

"Where's your mommy?" 

Roy yawned. "Probably sleeping." 

"Doesn't she live with you, mister Roy?" 

"I'd kill myself if she did." She was always on his ass about everything. Criticizing the choices he'd made with his life. He'd sooner live with the devil than his mother. At least then his apartment would be toasty during the cold, winter months. "But that's none of your concern, go to sleep or something." Silence fell between the two before Ed began clicking his tongue. Tensing, Roy tried to tune it out but the clicking became watery noises from the child's lips. Roy's eyes were thrown open. "What are you doing, Ed?" 

The child was quiet before answering, "'nut'in." 

"Ugh. Just. Go. To. Sleep." 

"Okay."

* * *

One cup of coffee just wasn't enough. Groaning, Roy rubbed his temples as Ed jumped around on the couch as the radio played a story about a private eye investigating the murder of his wife. With his fingers cocked in an 'L' shape, the small blond was screeching out 'bangs' as he ran across the room, no longer concerned on who murdered the woman. Running towards Roy, the child touched the colonel's stomach. "Bang!" 

The dark haired man quirked an eyebrow. 

"Bang! You're dead!" Ed tried again with conviction. 

Now, any parent would play along. Grab their chest and fall to the ground, all the while groaning out "Oh! You got me!" But this was the stoic colonel Mustang, a bachelor in the military. A womanizer at his best. His 'rules' simply stated there were no playing games as stupid as detectives. Besides, he would never be brought down by a simple 'boom'. That and his head hurt. "Go away, Edward." 

"Bang! Bang!" Ed tried again. 

"Go away!" Biting back a sniffle, the small child stuck out his tongue and ran for the door. "Don't leave the apartment complex, Ed." Roy muttered in his coffee. Again the blond stuck out of tongue, slipped on his recently purchased shoes (a gift from Hawkeye of all people) and rushed out the door. When the boy was completely gone, Roy reached his hand into a shelf, pulled out some gin and took a gulp of it. The burning sensation neutralized his headache and greeted him for the new day. 

He assumed it was ten minutes later that someone started knocking on his door. Groaning, Roy stood up and wobbled towards it. "Hello?" He asked, opening the door. 

Ashley Blakeman was an aging woman who'd seen so many events during the turn of the century, she was practically an encyclopedia. Her gray hair was always up in a bun and, though she needed them, she never wore her glasses considering them unladylike. She wore dresses that even Roy knew were no longer worn by women and past all her knowledge on what had happened until today, she was stubborn and never caught up on the times in her own life. "Mr. Roy," she spoke sternly, "We've been neighbors for a long time and I've put up with your antics without a question. Even when you came out of your apartment in your long johns!" 

"It was a cool day." Roy reasoned. 

"I'm sure, but that's not why I'm here. I went outside just a second ago to water my petunias only to find your bastard child tearing them apart." She tapped her foot. 

Roy frowned. "...Bastard child?" From behind the woman, Edward glanced at him with sad eyes. "Apologize for stepping on Mrs. Blakeman's flowers, Ed." 

The child frowned, running to Roy to grab the man's pant leg. Clutching on, he stared up with wide eyes full of hope that Roy wouldn't make him have to apologize, but the sharp look from the colonel said otherwise. Again, Ed turned back to the aging woman. He bit his lip. "The enemy was in it and I went in to catch him." 

Smiling, Roy placed his hand on Ed's head. "See? My 'Bastard Child' was just trying to protect you from make believe bad guys." The woman frowned, her nose wrinkling before she sighed and raised her hands in the air in defeat. The child huffed with the comment that they weren't fake but really scary. "I'll have him water them if it makes you feel better." 

"It's fine, Roy. Just. Don't let him outside without someone watching him. There's a lot of sick folks out there." Turning, she was gone. Ed glanced up as his fingers curled around Roy's pant leg. "Scary bad guys?" 

"Uh-huh! There was this really fat man and this small guy with pointy black hair, and this girl with long black hair and..." Roy sighed as he approached his kitchen to clean up the gin bottle and his coffee cup. Reaching in a counter, he pulled another cup down and filled a tiny bit with milk. "I'll give you something good if you choke this down." 

The blond stared the cup over as if it were evil. 

"What are you, chicken? Or just short?" 

"Who are you calling so short he stands up and is as tall as an ant?!" The child screamed. "Just watch when I grow up I'll be taller than you and squish you under my feet!" 

And Roy couldn't control himself. He laughed. And laughed. Then laughed some more at the aspect of a tall Ed that could step on him with those oversize boots. The twist the toe of the boot to finish the job. It was just so funny! "If you want to grow that tall," Roy smirked, "you have to drink all your milk or else you'll be a short as, say, an ant." 

Grumbling, Ed reached up and over the counter for the milk. In slow motion he brought it to his lips and dunked his head back, letting all the fluids go into his mouth. His face greened as he gagged on swallowing and Roy rushed over to pat the child on his back. Some of the milk dribbled on the floor, from being unable to swallow but Roy wasn't worried. Bringing his hand up, he touched Ed's head lovingly. "Did you drink most of it?" He smiled. The child nodded solemnly. "That was for digging into Mrs. Blakeman's petunias." Tears filled Ed's eyes, but Roy was already digging through a cabinet. "I went shopping and bought cereal," he pulled out some Kellogg's Toasted Corn Flakes. "Probably won't be good without milk, but dig in." He placed the box on the table and left to take a shower. 

When he returned, pressed and ready for work, he found Ed happily eating breakfast of cereal, a little milk, and a lot of sugar. The child was avoiding the milk though, letting the hard flakes soak up some of the now sugar liquid before bringing it to his lips. Roy poured himself another cup of coffee (minus the gin) and grabbed a slice of bread. "I have a meeting today, Ed. You need to behave yourself at Central. I give you permission to take Alphonse and go...anywhere as long as you leave a message with Hawkeye where you're heading." Grabbing his wallet, he pulled out a couple of bills and handed them to the kid (The Fuhrer had given him permission to take Ed's paycheck). "Don't spend it all in one place." 

Moving the money in his stubby fingers, the blond stared up. "Like toys?" 

Whatever was Ed going to do with all these toys when he was older? If he was older? Maybe it was good to keep them all just in case. "Sure, get toys. But make sure you don't forget them at the office." 

"Okay!" Ed jumped from his seat, abandoning his large milk bowl, in favor to rush towards the front door. "Come on! Come on!" He jumped at the door, trying to get on his shoes on. Roy glanced at his clock and took a slow sip from his coffee. "Mister Roy! I want to go get toys." 

"I," Roy stated calmly, "am not your mother. Clean your bowl." Ed frowned and returned in the kitchen. Grabbing his bowl, he dropped it in the sink. Unable to reach the faucet, he called it quits and left the room. Finishing his coffee, Roy stood, fixed his tie, and approached the door. "Ready, Ed?" 

"Yeah!"

* * *

Roy was not happy. Pressing the phone harder to his ear, he glared daggers at his open office door as a hesitant voice of a secretary deferred her employers message to him for the second time. "What do you mean we can't get that alchemist here until the end of the month!? We have a fucking situation on our hands! State Alchemist Edward Elric could be in more danger to the world as a child than as a snotty teen! You tell General Fhurin that I don't care about his needs, we need her here!" 

The line fell silent. "_Colonel Mustang. Again I state that State Alchemist Yvonne Ferington is busy in the capital. The earliest that she can arrive is at the end of the month. I'm sorry for this inconvenience._" That was followed by the operator stating that the line had been disconnected. Putting the phone down, Roy leaned back in his chair. Two more weeks with a child Ed? This was horrible. Five heads were sticking around the rim of his door, waiting for him to make comment on the situation. 

"She's with the General of the fifth brigade. Apparently they had a situation on their hands they especially needed her for. We'll have to wait before she makes her rounds up here. Until then, we're to remain calm with Ed. Treat him like the child he is." He rubbed his eyes. Stuck with a subordinate in his house for two more weeks. And it was a child of all things. Peeing in his bed. Making messes. Bothering the neighbors. "I'm not cut out to be a father. Someone else take him. Please." 

Riza smiled. "Come on, Colonel. You're doing fine by yourself. Ed seems to like you too. Who knows, maybe this will help with your relationship later." 

"I don't know," Jean sighed, "I kinda liked Ed and the Colonel's arguments." 

Roy groaned as they talked around him. Past all that, he could hear the loud clatter of armor coming towards the office. He thought he'd told Ed to take all day out in town with Al? Why would they be returning so early? It was Al that rushed in the room. No Ed attached or following. Roy raised an eyebrow at this. "Colonel! Ed's gone!" 

Jumping from his seat, the colonel slammed his hands on the desk. "What! You were suppose to be watching him, Al! Where did you lose him?" 

"We went to the park! This one kid," Al raised his hands frantically to explain that it was a kid, "hurt himself, so I carried him to his mother across the street. I told Ed to sit still and I'd be back! When I came back he was gone!" 

"What park!" 

"The one on fourth street. Across from the cafe." 

Shit. The same one he'd taken Ed to the night before. The same one where... "Hawkeye, get troops in that area. Leave no stone unturned! I want FullMetal back here immediately." The woman nodded and rushed out of the room, the other guys hot on her trail before they meet the colonel's wrath. "Was there anyone suspicious there? Staring at the kids? Out of place?" 

"A lot of parents were there. I asked people if they'd seen Ed, but they said they weren't paying attention to him. We were playing in the sand box. He was pouring sand in my helmet so we were alone." He stared down. "I never should have left him. I knew he couldn't take care of himself." 

"I'm not blaming you. Stay in here and accept all calls." Roy put on his jacket and started out of the room. "Go down to records. Have them look up a man named Tom Buttram. He might be my prime suspect, but I'm not going to dismiss that Ed went off on his own. Send orders to check every train heading to Risembool. In fact, check there too. In the time it takes to find him, he might arrive." As he walked, he continued shouting orders to the troops until he was outside. "Assemble!" He shouted. 

Like clockwork, the troops pulled into neat lines in front of him. His officers in front, enlisted in back. "As most of you know, our officer FullMetal became a child recently." A couple of the soldiers chuckled amongst one another about how cute the midget was. "Today, FullMetal disappeared in the middle of the city. I ordered a full search because last night, while with me, he encountered himself a pedophile. Today, at the same place of the encounter last night, he went missing." A stunned silence fell amongst the troops as they all came to the same concussion he had. "We don't have long to find him, I want everyone out there finding him before he is turned into the wrong hands – like the enemy. Though a child, FullMetal still retains all the information about Central and our military." Years worth of forbidden text as well. FullMetal was gold to an enemy. "Get out there and bring him back. To meet your fancy, I'll put out an award who happens to find him wandering the streets. I want Platoon Alpha going to Risembool. Each train going in that direction needs to have two troops on it while the rest take other means of transport. Don't leave those trains unwatched. Platoon Alpha dismissed." The group disappeared out the gates as quickly as the came. He continued with each group, giving them orders on where to go until only he and his few officers remained. 

Riza sighed. "Don't blame yourself colonel. I'm sure FullMetal's fine somewhere." She didn't look like she believed that either. "You should probably stay here. We'll call you if something comes up." 

"No," Roy started towards the gate. "I'm going to join the search." He wasn't very far down the street when Riza started walked next to him again. Her eyes bright and twinkling with delight. "What?" 

"I think Ed's grown on you. He's going to be sixteen again and you're going to bring him home and let him call you daddy." Roy scoffed. "Not even a little? Everybody's seen the new mold of you. You got the troops looking for him. If it were some other kid you wouldn't care. Even if the kid knew the information Ed does. You can tell me, Roy. We're friends." 

Staring over his shoulder over at her, Roy sighed. "Okay. He has, but that doesn't mean much has changed." He returned his attention towards the approaching park when he saw something from the corner of his eye. Glancing around, he walked across the street and picked up the item off the ground. A shoe. To be more precise, Ed's distinctive shoe. "Here's somewhere here, Riza. Look for the other shoe." All jokes were put aside as they searched for any more signs that Ed had gone this way. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist **Pairings**: Roy + Edward

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**Thank you (and sorry for not updating recently)**: (FF) Mieko8804, Lady of G'mer, Alaine, EmoNekoNinja, AncientHistory, InuyashaanKagomerlovers, Evil Ball of Fluff, SoSickofNyQuil, TuffChick, Demonskid, Syao9, Kane-chan, QuitexSoul, Chibibunny-chan, (AFF)Radcat, Nusku, Amethyst-eyed Koneko, Xfairygirlx, Kags21, LadyRonin, and Rucina Dema.

**Notes**: I will warn you when this chapter gets dark. You can skip it until I tell you it's all right to continue reading (I'll also summarize what happened just for those that skip it). No Child porn or rape, because I love Ed too much, but the suggested content is sick.

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The cold metal hand felt very strange as it tightened grip to cross the road, nothing like the loving warmth his mother emitted when walking he and his brother into town. In fact, it was nothing like the warmth that Roy gave off when they went into town, even though Roy's felt more obligated than loving. The armor wearing soldier (Ed wasn't sure of this though because no one else wore the same outfit as Al did) waited patiently for a horse buggy to move by before he walked Ed towards the play area across from Roy's apartment. Staring up with wide eyes, Ed hoped that Al would let him go play with all the other kids. The metallic man nodded and released his hold on Ed's hand. 

With a squeal of delight, Ed ran towards the metal slide where two other kids were climbing up the slide. Tugging off his shoes, he jumped towards them and joined in on their play, all under the watchful eyes of Alphonse. It wasn't even five minutes later that Ed grew bored with the fun and his new friends that he rushed over to Al and dragged the man over to the sand box. "Can I fill your helmet with sand? Please? Please? Please?" He jumped in the sand. 

Al pulled back, his large fingers clicking the armor nervously. "I can't take the helmet off Ed." 

"It's okay!" The boy picked up some sand in a small pile and pushed it through the holes around Al's face. The boy seemed quiet for a second as he listened to sand move down the sides, making a hissing noise until it fell silent. 

"Ugh," Al cried out, "I think I swallowed some of that sand." Ed smiled at the answer and started pouring more down the man's helmet. Reaching over, Al shoved a pile of sand down the back of Ed's shirt, causing the boy to scream and pull away. Laughing, Al pointed. "Take that, the last pile had a little rock in it." Unable to stifle a giggle, Ed reached over and put more sand into his 'babysitters' helmet. 

It was awhile until Ed realized he lost Al's attention. The mental man was staring over his shoulder at a little boy sobbing by a tree. "I'll be right back, Ed. Don't move." 

"Okay." Ed started piling up sand. With a song at his lips, he pushed the sand up to make a sandcastle he'd only seen in books. He only looked up when the area around him darkened, only to stare at the deep eyes of the man Roy had told him not to talk to just the day before. He tried to remember the man's name, but couldn't. "Mister Roy told me not to play with you." 

The man's face faulted, but the smile reclaimed his lips. "But he never said we couldn't talk." 

Racking his brain, Ed nodded in agreement. "Yea." 

"How old are you, Ed?" 

Holding up his fingers, Ed whispered lowly, "This many." He knew it was four, but he didn't want the man to think he was young. The man smiled. "How old are you?" 

"Thirty." The man smiled, taking a seat where Al had once been. In the distance a chime was heard, but Ed didn't pay mind to it. 

"That's _old_." 

"I suppose it is." He looked around at the source of the chiming. "Look, the ice cream cart. Do you want an ice cup?" The blond nodded and jumped to his feet, rushing towards the cart. The man followed close behind, his wallet out to pay for the frozen treat. Eating his food, Ed walked around the area, smiling sweetly at the man. "Do you want to go sit somewhere so you don't make a mess?" 

Nodding, Ed took the guy's hand and was lead across the street. "Oh, wait! My shoes!" He ran back to get the articles. Just as quickly, the man walked close behind. "Look, there's Al! Let's bring him too!" The blond pointed towards the metal man returning across the street. As he was standing up, he was grabbed and hoisted in the air, both shoes dangling from his fingers with his ice cream cup as the man carried him in the other direction. Kicking, Ed reached tugged at the man's hair. "Put me down! Put me down!" Ed scratched into the man's shoulder. "Al! Al!" Ed cried, but the man took off in a dead run causing Ed to drop one of his shoes. 

A few feet later, he dropped his ice cream followed by his other shoe as the man entered an apartment complex. With one hand, he held up Ed on his shoulder as he fumbled with his keys, head tilted to avoid quick feet as Ed's screams echoed across the apartment complex.

* * *

"Colonel!" A small man with the rank of private rushed forward, clenching papers. "We looked up Tom Buttram like you asked sir and we came up with four in the area." Roy turned all attention to the private, but seeing that the man wasn't going to speak anymore than that, he snatched the documents from the private's hands. Three of the four were within the age group he was expecting. Another lived too far from where Ed's shoe was found, but Roy heard something deep inside him say that didn't mean anything. 

"I want these checked immediately." 

Nervously, the small guy fumbled with his fingers. "You don't have the authority to do that sir." 

"Are you questioning my orders?" 

"N, No sir! I'm, uh...going to go check this one out." He flapped an address quickly and rushed off. Rubbing his eyes, Roy glanced back at the still Al. His hard eyes softened a little as he took a seat beside the devastated child. God, sometimes he pitied Al. Having Ed as a brother wasn't easy, judging by the way today was looking. First a child was shoved into the body of armor. Then a teen was reduced back to a child. And now said armor lost said child. Al wasn't suppose to have these troubles. 

Putting a hand on the large shoulder, Roy sighed. "It's okay, Al. Maybe I'm overreacting," he tried lying to himself. "I gave Ed money this morning so maybe he wanted to do some shopping?" 

Al's large knees pulled up on the couch, causing the piece of furniture to groan in protest. "I don't know colonel. Ed wasn't the kind of kid to ignore orders." Roy stifled a _could have fooled me_ as Al continued, "When we were growing up, he always did what mom told him to do. He was mommy's little boy and was so possessive of that title. We have it in his little head at this point that if he does something wrong, we'll tell mom. In Edward logic, that means mom won't want love him anymore." 

"I don't understand." 

"Ed's really insecure. He probably seen through our lie in his own way. Alchemy, hah. He really wants to believe that's why he's here. He probably thinks mom sent him here because he did something he shouldn't. He listens to everything you say, Colonel, because he doesn't want to be here indefinitely, so he's been on his best behavior – believe it or not." 

Roy leaned back against the couch. "I guess you'd only know this because you're his brother." 

Al gave an air of confidence. "I was always getting Ed in trouble so I could have mom." Even though it brought an ill feeling to Roy's stomach, he laughed.

* * *

His head hurt. 

Ed tightened his grip on his legs, staring over his knees at the puppet show Tom was putting on. He wanted to laugh at the antics, but found himself too scared to do anything but crunch up tightly and watch. His throat had began to hurt after crying so much, so he had stopped after Tom promised to give him something real good if he behaved. That something had been candy, so after scarfing it down Ed watched quietly as Tom tried amusing him. 

"What's wrong Ed?" The man glanced up from his skit. 

"It smells in here." Ed admitted. 

"Ah. Don't worry your pretty head about that. Would you like a glass of milk?" He started towards the kitchen. Ed stuck his tongue out. "Okay then, how about some juice?" He opened the refrigerator. "Oh, look! I even have cookies. Want one? They're chocolate chip." He chimed happily as he poured two glasses of juice and brought the cookies over. Ed slid to the floor. 

"Want to have a camp out?" 

The blond blinked. "Camp out?" Eagerly, he took the cup handed to him and soothed his sore throat. 

Tom smiled and walked out of the room, leaving the cookies beside Ed. Happily, the blond began to dig into them as he watched the adult move around the apartment with blankets. In the matter of minutes, two blankets were raised above him to form a makeshift tent and the adult was laying on his belly, enjoying his own cup of juice. And as Ed finished off the plate of cookies, he found his eyelids grow heavy until he was laying out on the floor in sweet bliss, unaware of the evil that lurked around him.

* * *

**Warning This part is not for the sound of mind. I'll tell you when you can start reading again.**

Tom watched from the rim of his cup as Ed curled up on his side, thumb heading upwards to his lips, and found himself unable to hide a smile. This had caused him so much trouble. He knew he didn't have enough time to gain the boy's trust, especially after the blond had informed him that Roy Mustang hadn't wanted them to interact any further, but Tom couldn't help it. A blond was perfect for his collection of dolls. 

Reaching down, he let his fingers linger against warm skin. No, the boy wasn't perfect yet, he realized before standing up to collect his tools. The tent came down just as quickly. There was no more reason for it to remain standing. Marching towards the back room, he unlocked the door and entered it, breathing in deeply the familiar, exotic stench of decay. His other dolls, little boys varying from the ages of three to six, sat around a table in a dead stance, their faces rotting with age. The oldest doll of his collection rested on the bed, his face most gone and chewed up by flies and other insects. 

Dolls always did this to him. Children never wanted to play with him when they were warm with life, but dead, they did everything he asked them to. But soon, they became bored with him and would disappear under his watchful gaze. 

With a smile, he whistled a tune as he pulled out from under the bed an old briefcase that contained the needed items to make little Ed into a doll. Tom returned to his living room just as quickly, taking a seat beside the sleeping child. He let his fingers brush to the boy's mouth to tug the thumb out. As cute as it was, it'd be in the way. Dolls can't speak, he'd have to remove the child's tongue to ensure the boy wouldn't cry out for help any more. 

And the minute his fingers entered the blond's mouth to pull the boy's tongue out to be cut off, golden eyes snapped open. "Ed, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" He asked sincerely. The doll groaned. 

"Colonel..." His eyes narrowed, trying to see clearly. Tom blinked. That wasn't the voice of the doll he'd brought home. This new voice seemed more defined. "Colonel, my arms are hurting. It's the book's alchemy isn't it? Don't make me return to that darkness. I need help." 

Colonel? Tom blinked. "I am not that person, Ed. Now go back to sleep." 

Gold eyes widened. "Who are you?" His voice hinted confusion. 

"I am your master, my doll. Now go back to sleep." The sleeping pills that he put in the cookies usually kept the child asleep until their heart slowed, why was Ed not infected? Tom squeaked as a child's fist connected with his chin. Ed was sitting up, hands fumbling to feel his own body, as if to make sure that everything was still in place. 

"Master! You fucking psycho!" The child was off the ground quickly, his hands forced together with a sudden clap, followed by the shake of the couch shifting forms. Tom stepped back, not understanding what was going on. Those sharp eyes lost focus and brightened, but it was gone in seconds with an angry look. "The park. I was at the park. You kidnapped me!" Ed's hands fumbled again with a noisy clap, the table followed the same path of light that the sofa had until they were throwing dirt in the air during their morph. 

Tom stepped back again. Was little Ed an alchemist? Was that what as going on? He tried to run, to save his other dolls, but was stopped as sharp metal was thrown into his back, immobilizing him. His body was twisted by a chain, making him turn to face the blond. Ed's eyes were losing focus again, but it didn't stop him from working a machine that was slowly killing him. 

The newly formed couch was now something of a cannon with a large chain shot from it like a bullet. At the child's hands was a lever, slowly retracting the chain and pulling Tom back. That was until Ed stopped and grabbed his head with a sob. "No, go back. I don't want to go back!" 

Very confused, Tom tried to resist his own pain to reach his hand out to his doll. Ed bit his fingers, but didn't apply enough pressure to actually hurt him before the child collapsed on the ground. Still attached to a chain missile going through his shoulder, Tom could only sit in agony, wondering just what had happened. 

**Warning over. Summary – Tom wanted to kill Ed, Big Ed woke up (but is still in body of child), and almost kills Tom**

* * *

When Ed woke up again, he found himself scared and confused. The first thing he saw was a large machine he'd never seen before with a chain escaping the front, projected forward and into Tom's body. He knew for a fact the man was close to dying, judging by the slowness of his breathing. 

Whimpering, Ed rushed to the door, scared of what had happened to the man and who could have done something so brutal. The boy's eyes filled with tears when he found himself lost just outside the apartment. He couldn't remember what roads Tom had taken when he ran from the park, so the idea of never seeing Al came to mind. Sobbing, Ed rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. If he couldn't get back to the park or Roy's apartment, there was only one other place to go – his mother's. That idea in place, Ed took off down the road in hopes to find the train station. 

Because if anyone could make everything all better, he knew his mother could.

* * *

Roy bent down in front of the apartment of one Tom Buttram, picking up the second drop shoe of the day. "Ed's here." He spoke calmly. His selected troops nodded and started inside the building. Behind them, Roy blinked as he took in the pitiful architecture. 

"Thank god your here," a ragged voice came from behind. Turning, Roy faced an aging man with a gruff face. "I've been calling the police for hours, but they're not coming here. My neighbor, Tom, he's not well. Well, it wasn't well before anyway – sick in the head is more like it – but recently there's been a god awful stench coming from there. The Police say they can't do anything about that, some people just stink, but earlier today he brought home a kid. After that, there was screaming, silence, yelling, and then a noise I can't even describe!" He glanced towards the open door. "I went in there to tell him to shut up, that I was on third shift last night and need some sleep, only to find him bleeding everywhere." 

Roy glared. "Men, get up in that room now!" Bleeding was not a good thing. He wanted that fucking man to talk. 

"Where you guys taking him?" 

"For questioning after whatever is wrong with him is patched up. This kid he brought up, was he a little boy, about four years old, with blond hair?" 

"Yea, that'd be the kid." 

Roy frowned. "Colonel, come here for a moment." Nodding, the officer walked towards the room indicated where he was lead to the back room. The stench that the pedestrian spoke of became more apparent as he walked. A stench Roy had smelled before. Death. Five children laid about in the room, decaying. Three sat at a table in the looks of having a tea party. One laid on the bed. The last was bound against the wall, he (or she, it was hard to tell) was cut open. 

"What the fuck..." Roy whispered, putting a handkerchief up against his nose. "Get the mortician here. Have this room blocked off. How's our Mr. Buttram?" 

"He bled. Some internal damage, but he's not dead yet. The thing is, Colonel..." The soldier frowned. "You saw the machine in the living room?" Roy grunted. Of course he'd seen it. It was horrendous, obviously a cannon that got fucked up with a grappling hook. Alchemy perhaps? Edward? "It's alchemy. Something of that fine craftsmanship is anything but." 

Roy grimaced as he returned to the living room where Tom Buttram was being carried out. "Any signs of Ed in this vicinity?" They'd been the first to enter the room. 

The man that stood at the door still spoke up loudly. "The blond kid ran. I saw him rush out the door just before I called the police again for the noise. He took off that way," he pointed north. 

Roy groaned. Ed wasn't making this easy for him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist **Pairings**: Roy + Edward

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**Thank you (and sorry for not updating recently)**: Mimifoxlove, Insane Slytherin, Dragon-Tsuki, Sharingon-Sasu-kun, Lost Cause, Alchamoras, Demonskid, GeneralSephiroth, Elemental-Zer0, UchihaUzumaki Baby, Teh Wonderful Crack Fairy, Pandafoot105, syao9, K.Furi, InuyasanKagomerlovers, Kijo Kurosaki, Trista Louise, KissMehYaoiLuvinArse, SoSickOfNyQuil, TraitorTatara, KiboKi, Chibibunny-chan, (AFF) Radcat, Ari, Kags21, Amethyst-eyed Koneko, Angela, LadyRonin, Nusku, Pimpshit, Demondogs, and Nutsy the one and only

_Ah. I really want to apologize for not updating in nearly 7 months. I don't usually do this but I ended up overloading myself with fanfiction – at that time it was Experiment A I wanted to put a lot of work into. Along with fanfics I was trying to write I also had a lot of school work to do. It's a sad excuse, I know. I hope to finish this fic with the next chapter. Hopefully it will be up before I go back to school._

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Small feet kicked out in front of him, Ed grinned out the window as the train finally started running. It had taken him strolling in with an extraordinarily large family to get past security, but he had done it. So when they had finished checking tickets and he was no longer hiding, the petite child took a seat and had enjoyed the noises around him as he speculated on his day. First Tom had turned out to be a not so nice guy and then someone had hurt the man. Ed felt his stomach spin.

What made it worse was that the child had the rising suspicion it was him who'd cause such a devastating 'owie' (the only word the child could think of to describe the gaping hole going through the man's chest). But, Ed had no memory of it. Was it really him? Could he do that? The boy shook his head feverously at the thought. He would never! Some really bad man had come in there and hurt someone and Roy was going to say it was him who did it! Ed sniffled. And then he wouldn't get any more toys because Roy was mean like mommy was when she was mad, only Roy was mean all the time.

"Hold the train!"

Ed glanced out the window and gasped. He knew it had taken forever for the train to fill and last calls to be taken, but it seemed to have been enough time for Roy to find him. Ducking, Ed listened to the front of the train as Roy was helped into the moving cart by the conductor. "I'm looking for a little boy..."

The child sniffled as the two men started down the aisles, looking into and under seats until dark eyes fell onto golden eyes trying to hide. "There you are..." Roy whispered, seeming almost relieved. "Thank you. When is the next stop?"

"Risembool."

"Damn. Too late to get off?"

"Not unless you plan on walking all the way back to the station, but I'd advise you ride the trip out."

The colonel nodded in understanding before taking the empty seat in front of the blond. Alone, the two stared at each other with nervousness, fear, and relief balled into one. "Why..." Roy finally whispered hoarsely, "Did you run away?"

"I didn't do it, Mister Roy! Tom was hurt and...I don't know how he got hurt!" The child sobbed, jumping from his seat and into the colonel's lap. "We were eating cookies and drinking juice and playing games and I fell asleep..." The child sniffled. Roy patted the boy's head, letting blond hair move through his fingers. "How did you find me?"

"We found Tom and you weren't there. We had the feeling you were returning home and this is the only train heading in that direction." Roy reached his hands under the blond's armpits, lifting the light weight into his lap. "You have to tell me what he did to you besides entertain you." He shuffled the boy back, staring at wide, innocent, golden eyes. "Tell me Fullmetal. What did he do?" He kept his voice even and full of command.

The golden eyes filled with tears. Not Fullmetal. "Mister Roy?"

"Never mind. Just...go to sleep. We'll turn around at the station."

"But...I was going to see mommy."

Roy stiffened. "We'll turn around at the station. Your mother is...on vacation."

"Wha'?" Ed shot up. "She left me!"

Holding Ed's arms, Roy held the boy down so Ed wouldn't start an uproar. "Nothing like that. Your mother…went to go see your daddy!" He smiled. Ed paled and stuck his nose up, making Roy smile. Some things never changed. "Maybe she'll drag him back home to take care of you and Al."

"I hate daddy!" Ed stuck his tongue out. "He left and mommy started crying."

"Well now it's going to be even better because you can torture him, but you're going to make me cry." That got Ed's attention. "You're trying to leave me already? You already claimed my bed; don't you want to stay there for awhile longer?" Ed took a second, glancing away. Sighing, Roy raised his hand for a cart of treats. Ordering a small cake slice before the cart went back up to first class, the colonel handed the meal to Ed. "Does your mommy let you eat whenever you want?" He tried.

Smacking his lips as he dug into the food, Ed smile. "Nu-uh! I love Mr. Roy!" He smiled as he took an oversized bite into the cake.

Sighing in defeat at the mess his charge was already making. Taking his handkerchief out and wetting it with his own saliva, he rubbed Ed's mouth. "Eat more civil-" He caught himself and pulled away. How was it that Ed was reducing him to a worrying mother? _Remember, Roy he's a hazard to the military if any information gets loose._

"Mr. Roy?"

"What?"

"What's going to happen when I go home?"

"Home?"

"To your house."

Surprised that Ed would refer to _his_ home as home, Roy couldn't hide his smile. "You're going to take a bath, we're going to scrub my bed clean, maybe some dinner afterwards, and go to sleep. I don't know about you but you made today even more trying than it should be." He rubbed blond hair.

And halfway back to Central, almost four hours later, little Ed had curled himself up on Roy's lap in a deep sleep. Alone to his own, tiring, thoughts, Roy found himself missing the loud mouthed underling. "I miss you Fullmetal…"

This was responded by a small moan from the sleeping child, barely audible to the commanding officer – "Save me, Roy…"

* * *

It was dark.

Ed turned his head to every foreign sound. He hated this dark world. He hated that stupid book that had locked him into the dark. Was this how Al felt in that rusty hunk of metal? _I'm so sorry, Al…_ Maybe he should have listened. Had gone to the colonel instead of going about the mysterious circle himself? Had he of still used this questionable alchemy circle? Probably not. Having his arm back wasn't worth the loss of experience. He hated sitting back and listening to those voices…

And they were always Roy's voice chastising him for some misbehavior - from using the unregistered alchemy to _peeing_ the bed.

The worst part of all this was the little monster that would show up out of nowhere. Wide eyed and cocky, four-year-old Edward would appear, often startling sixteen-year-old Ed. The child was…almost demonic. "I don't want to go back," the little child would stomp his foot down, "I hate it here. With your body I can do anything! I refuse to go back!"

Settling to the ground, having grown tired of trying to find that light to the other world, Ed covered his head in his hands. "Save me, Roy." His voice almost affectionate. Calling his superior _sir_ or _colonel_ was out of the question. Besides, _Roy_ seemed more endearing when the blond was almost on his knees. "I promise, I'll be the best officer out there…I don't want to be here anymore…"

"_Fullmetal…_"

Ed almost missed the voice, calling out for him. "Mustang! Help me! Please!"

"_Fullmetal, what did you do…_"

Do? Ed sniffled, using his arm to wipe away any escaping snot. He just wanted to fall into the Colonel's arms and cry. "I didn't do anything! Get me out of here!"

Instead he was met with himself. The little boy was glaring up at the new light to the other world. "Roy is calling for you…" He whispered.

"Let me out! I, I'll find some way to give you a life but just let me have my body!"

The four-year-old tilted his head back. "Why would I do that? I like having all the attention. If it's a world without this _Fullmetal_ than it's an even better world. I like being Edward Elric! Your memories are so warm…" The child put his hands to his chest.

"Please!"

"I want more cake, good night Edward Elric!" The child rushed into the light and both he and the outside world disappeared again, leaving nothing but darkness to engulf the blond.

* * *

With a bundle on his back, Roy counted the stares directed towards him. Some strangers suggested it was his bastard child and that it was wrong for a little boy to be without a mother. These comments were ignored as the Colonel kept just to his own thoughts. He could have sworn he kept hearing the little tyke calling for help. But, his voice just seemed to break as he called for Fullmetal to answer him.

Ed was all fine and dandy, but he was no Full Metal Alchemist. "You, Full Metal, are in so much trouble when you come back. Disobeying strict order to come to me with any information. I said I would help you in any way possible but instead you go off and do stupid things like this." He readjusted the weight on his back. "I should call Al when we get home. Poor kid's been worried sick since we entered Buttram's home."

It was then he realized that the tiny legs that were wrapped around his waist were kicking as tiny hands tigheed around stiff shoulders. The little bundle mumbled something into his neck.

"What's that?"

"…I really gotta pee." Little legs kicked almost frantically. "Pee-!" He whimpered. Looking around the neighborhood, Roy cringed.

"We're almost to the apartment. Hold it." He briskly walked as the kicking legs stilled and the boy made a whining noise. Irrational fear began to scream in his mind that his back was getting wet though (in reality) this wasn't the case. After what seemed forever his home began to show in the distance. Carefully, he lowered Ed to the ground and gave the child the key to his apartment. Free from the hassle of carrying a squirming child Roy made it towards the buildings where (not to his surprise) Hawkeye and Al were all ready standing. "Seems you heard we found him."

"He was in a hurry when he rushed past us, did you say something to him about running away?" She waited until Roy was entering the building before following close behind. Al, quieter than normal, followed close behind. The apartment door was still thrown open and from the backrooms a water-hitting-water sound came back strong. Unable to help herself, Hawkeye giggled and took a seat in the kitchen area. "I wish I could take pictures of Ed's behavior. It's so cute."

"Big brother would be too embarrassed to allow those pictures to exist." Al shuffled against the wall nervously. "He died at the hospital." Simple and to the point. Roy didn't need to ask who they were talking about. Tilting his head to the side the colonel snorted.

"So there is a god. And those bodies, have they been taken to the morgue?"

"Yes," Hawkeye tapped her long fingers against the table. "Identifying them may be harder though." She cut herself short as the little blond boy rushed into the room, fingers dripping of clear water from not thoroughly drying his hands off, and climbed into Roy's lap. Grunting, Roy fixed himself in the seat so Ed could have more room. "Ed, I need to ask you some things about Mr. Buttram."

The boy stopped moving. Golden eyes widened and stared up at Roy. "I didn't hurt him. Somebody must have come in."

"Did you black out?" Roy tilted his head back. Ed blinked and thought deeply about that before nodding. Rubbing his temple the colonel huffed out what sounded like 'Full Metal'. Even gone he was causing damage. The small child suddenly slid off his lap, rushing over to Al to stare up with wide eyes of curiosity.

"Al?" He leaned forward, as if inspecting a scrape in the metal. Alphonse stepped back nervously. "Al, why does mister Roy keep calling me Full Metal? Wouldn't _you_ be Full Metal because you're a metal man?" The group froze. Did he know that there was no man under that armor? Al shifted nervously, the back of the suit hitting the counters with a loud _clank_. "I mean," the boy continued, "I don't have anything metal on me."

"Roy's just old!" Al choked out. "He can't tell flesh from metal anymore so he thinks you're like my brother who wears similar armor!" His raised his voice, it cracking as he tried to think of a good enough lie. Ed had always been quick to catch things but at the same time he was innocent enough to accept anything to make the world black and white.

Nodding enthusiastically, the little boy twirled and rushed towards the living room where a pile of his collected toys were. The three at the table watched before turning to each other hoping that what they'd just encountered was their own insanity. "Is he…like that a lot?" Hawkeye finally asked, tuning out the sound effects Ed was giving to some of his toys.

"I like to think it's just Full Metal trying to come out," he quieted as his home phone rang. Excusing himself, he started towards the large machine, bringing it to his ear. "Mustang."

On the other side of the room, having grown bored with his toys, Ed was watching the adults with, unnoticed, spiteful eyes. The wooden train hit the ground and the small boy rushed forward toward Roy, tugging on the man's arm demandingly. Hawkeye stood up and took Ed away from the talking colonel, settling the now excited (or so she would believe) child on her lap. "So what's the colonel like at home? Is he bringing those lady friends of his home?"

Kicking his legs out, Ed sniffled. "No."

"You aren't going to tell me anymore?"

"No." Ed crossed his arms as Roy hung up the phone with a silent good bye. "Who was that?"

"It seems a slot opened up for that alchemist. She's willing to come out tomorrow and check out the notebook." None of the group ever saw the horrified expression on the four-year-old's face.

* * *

A soft clicking of a clock played its part to keep the small boy up as he stared angrily towards the ceiling. His thoughts traveled fast as he analyzed his choices. This body and mind, though often subjected to childish whims and behavior, was an outlet from that book. Years upon years of being trapped in the realms of time were so boring and it was destiny that every so many years a fool would break the seal and release him into their younger bodies. Sitting up the small boy let his blanket drop to the floor as he crawled off the couch.

It didn't help matters that, this time, the victim was more headstrong than most. This boy was the only one he'd ever lost control to. He still hadn't figured out just what this boy was to these people only that the military was doing whatever they could to save the boy. Then there was Buttram and his brutal end. Whoever this Edward Elric was, the crying boy in the darkness was only a tidbit of the real character.

"Can't sleep?"

Jumping from his thoughts, Ed turned to face Roy. The man was scratching his chest absently as he opened a cabinet to grab boxed crackers. The blond boy smiled. "Nu-uh. I had nightmares!"

Those words captured the colonel's complete attention. "What about?"

"Me. I was crying for you and for you to come get me." The blond murmured absently. "But then I opened my eyes and realized I was here and not at Mister Buttram's place." He explained. Roy's face scrunched up with a simple mutter that he understood what the boy was scared about. He offered the open box.

Accepting a cracker, Ed nibbled on it quietly deep in thought. On the back of his mind, in that little world he never wanted to go again, he could hear Edward Elric singing nonsense in order to keep his hopes up that the colonel would save him. The fool. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

Grunting, Roy leaned back. "Didn't you hear me earlier? An unspecified Alchemist is going to visit tomorrow to look over a book and talk to you."

"A book?" Ed leaned forward hopefully. Roy eyed him suspiciously before tapping his noise twice with a smile.

"Secret."

"That's not fair!" The child stood up in his chair, hands on the table as he tried crawling forward, switching tactics. "I don't wanna talk to strangers no more! Why am I going to talk to this stranger?"

Putting the crackers away, Roy collected the child in his arms and started towards the back rooms. "I'm glad to hear you learned not to talk to strangers but you don't need to worry about this one, I'll be there." He tucked the boy into the sheets before taking starting towards the door to change the sleeping arrangements. "I'll be in the living room if you have another nightmare."

The child nodded and cuddled into the blanket, his child brain no longer able to keep up with his thoughts as sleep took over. Staring over the child, Roy shook his head before leaving. There were some things about this kid that made no sense.


	7. Chapter 7

Chibified  
**By** Selim  
**Rating**: M  
**Summary**: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist **Pairings**: Roy + Edward

* * *

**Thank you (and sorry for not updating recently)**: (FF) HaltiOvi, QuitexSoul, Kayakokitty, Fireywolfchild, Chibibuny—chan, HeavensangelQ, Insane Slytherin, InuyashanKagomerlovers, Mikayasha, Shinigami-chan, Foreverforgotten5, Anime-luver101 (AFF) Radcat38, Nusku, Amethyst-eyed Koneko, and LadyRonin

* * *

He had to destroy that book.

A wide smile was plastered on Ed's face as he walked around Central, giving an aura that he was in a good mood even after yesterday's disaster. In reality the boy was fuming as he thought about that book in the colonel's desk drawer just begging to be burned. Before Edward Elric could be saved from the darkness that was.

The plan had been explained behind closed doors and Ed had made certain to eavesdrop on all the information that would come in handy. Later that day an advanced alchemist named Gregory Thompson would be arriving to look over _The Book_ and would construct a counter circle to fix everything. He, if all worked well, would bring back Edward 'Full Metal' Elric thus locking up Ed, the child, in that darkness again waiting for another idiot to open the book. Only this time it would be an eternal wait for the book, according to Mustang himself, was going to be burned. The smile faulted and was replaced by a nervous frown. This childish, whimsical body could do nothing supportive instead would often cry and demand plenty of sleep.

Prior alchemists had never transformed to such a juvenile state. Never had He been forced to suffer cognitive loss in his years of forced existence. Because so many mental, and at times physical, problems had occurred there was no real way to snatch the book from the much stronger adults and tear the pages before that Thompson character analyzed it. He also doubted that using those cute gold eyes (no matter how brimmed with tears they could get) could fool the colonel into letting him _see_ the book prior. For a completely oblivious _moron_, he was an intelligent man when it was needed.

A dizzy spell struck the child, almost causing him to fall over. Ed groaned. He was going to need to stop Full Metal's return before the child in him took full control. All this over thinking was making it happen faster.

"Are you okay, Ed?"

Turning his head, the blond tried to recall the smoking guy bending to his level. "Yes." He whispered, the little part of him wanting to cry out that his knees were starting to shake nervously still. "Where's Mister Roy?"

"He's working kid." The man – Havoc! Ed mentally cheered at recalling the guy's name – reached into his pocket and deposited a lollipop into Ed's lap. "For you, so don't go running around today."

The child nodded again as he unwrapped the sweet before stuffing it in his mouth. At least, he decided, if he was stuck as a kid forever, he'd have it made. All he had to do was eliminate one Full Metal and this good life would be all his.

* * *

Roy tapped his pen against his desk, ignoring the small nicks in the cherry oak paneling as he glared at the book in front of him. He'd spent the morning analyzing the pages while his troops had been ordered to maintain Ed's attention until they knew if it was possible to return the young boy to his rightful form. So far he hadn't grown any closer to an answer than he was at the beginning of his search. At points he didn't even think the Professor of Human Alchemy could figure this one out. It scared him to picture himself taking care of Edward Elric the rest of his young life. Having children was such a sex-life disaster. Women thought it meant he was committed and a family man – which he was neither, thank you.

"Colonel, instead of wasting oxygen why don't you try signing those damage reports?" Hawkeye cocked her gun for added effect. The colonel flinched, tugging the forms towards him.

"Damage? How could there still be damage? We have Full Metal subdued!" Roy glanced over the forms to see just what had been destroyed.

"You did lose your cool yesterday. Some equipment suffered severe fire damage. You charged the military for tickets to Risembool and back. There was that hush money for the Buttram case. Medical bills. The library is charging for book damage caused by Ed. All these need your signature." She shifted the papers back in order before leaving the room. With a groan, Roy fished at the first form and read through half heartedly.

Back to the little monster running around as if he owned everything. That morning the little snot had been up long before the sun rose and had demanded pancakes. He then, when trying to make himself orange juice, poured pulp all across the kitchen. On the way to work he'd been chanting about stepping on cracks and breaking people's backs. Roy groaned, scribbling his signature on the form. He wasn't made to be a father. Hugh was, but he sure the hell wasn't. Opening the desk drawer, he'd dropped the forms in there before grabbing the journal again to look over the alchemist book that had supposedly been lost for years.

Only Edward Elric could find such.

But what a gift; returning to one's youth. It seemed more of a luxury than anything else. Of course, Roy had made no plan to make that alchemy circle himself. No matter how tempting his youth was, losing all his memories and alchemy skills just wasn't worth it. And who lied about what kind of circle it was? Only someone who was looking for trouble, that's who. Flipping through the pages, Roy frowned at the notes in the back. He'd read them, but none of the information really pertained to what happened to the old body. _I wonder how much it hurt having bones snap into smaller shapes just to form a short teenager into a short toddler?_

The door to his office opened suddenly, causing Roy to jerk out of his thought and start rummaging for the papers he'd given up on before his sight made a connection with his brain that it wasn't an angry Hawkeye at his door but a small Edward Elric, dragging bedding with him. "I wanna take a nap." Ed started towards the couch. Looking at the clock, Roy noted it was almost time for the boys nap.

"Carry on then," the colonel said as he put the notebook away in favor for the bills he needed to sign. Ed wiggled up in the couch with his blanket and pillow, curling up into himself. The two fell into silence, a soft scratching of Roy's pen against the desk the only sound in the room. Ed flipped on his belly, catching Roy's attention halfway through a sentence. "Go to sleep, Ed."

"Can't," the boy mumbled into his pillow.

"Would you like me to go get you a warm glass of milk?"

"Ew-! No! You're too loud!"

"You're the one screaming." Roy smirked, putting his pen down. Golden eyes turned to look at him, begging him to suggest going away for the duration of _naptime_. "Fine, whatever. I need some coffee anyway if I'm going to get through these forms. If you need anything Havoc or someone can get it for you. You're not to leave this room, is that understood?"

"Uh huh." The child cooed, cuddling warmly into his blanket to hide his head. Roy grunted, opened his drawer to grab the notebook before shuffling the papers with the notebook at hand. He'd look over it again when he was at the cafeteria. At the door, he wished the kid good night, shut off the last remaining light and left the room.

* * *

A golden eye peeked out from under the blankets at the soft click of the office door latching. Finding the coast clear from nosey Colonel's, the blond slid to the floor and rushed over to the desk. He was sure that Roy had placed something in the desk, probably the notebook. Tearing open the drawer, Ed shuffled the paperwork, pens, photos, and other invaluable objects around before slamming the drawer shut. No book. That asshole probably took it with him when he left! Not wanting to accept that, Ed reached for another drawer and opened it. This one contained folders. Pulling the first thick file marked "Full Metal" up and looked through the papers under that.

"Ed, what are you doing in the colonel's desk?"

Jumping, the boy turned and looked at the woman who acted motherly around him. Hawkeye, he believed her sur name was. Smiling, the little boy rushed toward her. "I want to color."

"You chased the Colonel out of here for a nap, so go lie down and stay out of his drawers, Edward. That's not for peeping little boys." She approached the desk to firmly latch the drawer closed as Riza's other hand pushed Ed towards the couch. "Now go to sleep or I'll take you over my knee, little man." Covering his bottom (just in case she went through with that threat), Ed climbed back onto the couch not in the least bit tired. He glared at the oblivious woman as she checked that all the other drawers were shut before grabbing a file off the desk itself. Leaving the room, cold brown eyes fell on the boy one last time before the door shut and subjected the child into darkness again.

Clenching his fist in the blanket, Ed glared at the ceiling. He was starting to hate these people.

* * *

"Colonel?" Hawkeye inquired, sneaking a peek through the almost empty cafeteria. Lunch had finished awhile ago and only the colonel had yet to finish his meal. The cooks usually left something out for the busy man while leaving the coffee flowing until everyone was told to return to work. As she expected, the dark haired officer was sitting near the window, a stack of papers to his left and a notebook open in front of him as he sipped black coffee. "Have you finished signing these?" She reached for her weapon. The man nodded, not even looking up. Smiling, she plucked the forms up and glanced over them quickly.

"You needed something?" Roy flipped the page. An empty paper came out from under the book and he flicked his pen tip over, leaving a faint trail that resembled writing. Notes, Riza noted. The man didn't look like it, but he took his work very serious. Edward Elric was his work.

"I went to your office to grab a referral form and Edward wasn't on his couch like you said he'd be."

The pen left a splattered mess on the page, ruining an alchemy circle. "What'd he do, escape out the window?"

"No. He was going through your desk drawers - where this notebook should have been. I don't trust him, Colonel. I know he's only four and that would make him the most trustworthy person in the world but…there's just something about him that doesn't seem right. Even Al said that there were moments that _Edward Elric_ wasn't himself."

Roy nodded. "It's almost true but not quite. He is himself but with many personalities. I've seen our Full Metal come out, I've seen a little four year old come out, and then I've seen a monster. I've also done research on all of these signed alchemists. People have said they've aged to younger forms, each varying just how much they aged however one thing has been the same according to eyewitnesses over time. They changed in personalities after using it. One moment they were close to how they use to be but then it had gradually become something different until they died. Then afterwards this book pops up again at a library of some other alchemist."

"So you're saying people think it's possessed?"

"Yes." Roy nodded. "I'm not saying it is though. Besides the usual amount of four-year-old accidents go on at the apartment I haven't seen anything ghostly going on." He let the notebook drop on the table. "I'm getting a headache thinking about this. Has our guest arrived yet?"

"Alchemist Gregory Thompson is being escorted here from the train station as we speak. Would there be any supplies that are needed?"

The colonel shook his head, returning to his readings. "Just a few more pages of clean paper and pencils. Have him brought in here when he arrives." Roy absently drank from his coffee cup. "And…keep an open eye in my office."

"Of course." Riza turned to leave, once last glance at her commanding officer. The doors shut behind her and Roy peeled his eyes away from the assortment of words and symbols to rub his eyes. This was becoming too daunting of a task. Of course, as required, he had skills to decipher the words. He had background in conflicting alchemy as well as developing the opposite – just in case some new alchemist fucked up beyond repair. But this wasn't his job. He was much better on the field – killing – then sitting at a desk looking at these forms.

Because the more he read up on the circle, the more pissed off at Edward Elric he became.

It was only a matter of time before he'd grab that unsuspecting four year old and shake common sense in that thick blond head. Maybe the second time around the boy will have learned to listen to his superiors and bring any questionable material before the committee. Then none of this shit would ever happen and the last few weeks could become more of a dream – a horrible, horrible dream – than a reality.

"Captain Gregory Thompson." A lieutenant opened the door, directing in a tall man of western descent. The man pushed back his dark hair and seated himself across from the colonel, one leg crossing his lap and he relaxed – completely ignorant of his superior's disgruntled look. In one fluid motion, the westerner grabbed the notebook from the Colonel, sitting back again as he skimmed over the pages.

"Time Alchemy? Never thought I'd even hear that. Phht, whoever found this was a moron to go around using it. The date symbol on the right is twisted wrong – which is why it looks like it'd summon the philosopher's stone. Let me guess, that little moron shot himself in time?"

"Physically, yes, _Captain_," Roy growled lowly to remind the man of his rank. "How long will it take for a counter-alchemy circle?"

"Couples hours. Five at most." The man smirked before leaving the room, taking Roy's notes and the notebook with him. Shaking his head, Roy picked up his own cup of coffee and follow suit. He wanted to sit in his office and it didn't sound like Ed was trying too hard to sleep.

* * *

Ed jumped back under his blankets when the office door was pushed open. Clenching his eyes shut to feign sleep, the child listened to Roy swear before the couch was kicked roughly, throwing the child partly in the air. Sniffling, Ed wrapped his blankets around his small frames to give a tearful, innocent stare at the colonel that he hated with a passion. The office, once pristine, was now littered with papers. The walls were colored with ink, leaving hand prints and finger paintings in random spots. Sadly, under some of them were poorly written names, almost as if wanting to place blame on someone.

A golden eye peeked out from under the blankets, watching the colonel swoop down to pick up some stray papers before moving towards his desk to deposit them in a less than orderly fashion. Ed clenched his eyes shut again when the flame alchemist turned to him, approaching with light steps. Tiny fingers fisted the blanket to hold it still but it wasn't enough as the material was ripped from his fingers and deposited to the floor. Crying out in shock, the lump of blond fell to the floor just under Roy's feet. "Clean this mess up, Ed."

Eyes still tightly closed, the boy tried snoring.

"I know you're awake, Ed."

"Sweeping," the murmured voice, using childish language to enforce this, said into a thin arm. Roy rolled his eyes as he grabbed the boy's ankle, dragging him across the floor. Ed kicked and screamed, scratching at the wood angrily. "I hate you! I wanna sleep!"

"You should have done that instead of destroying my office!"

"Havoc did it!"

"I'm sure Havoc is not spelt 'H-A-V-I-C-K' now go down to the janitors and get some cleaning supplies. I want this office done before I leave or you'll be drink milk for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until you're sixteen!" Roy dropped the foot roughly before storming towards his seat. Taking it, he watched the screaming child on the ground with a look of distaste. After some time Ed's cries fell silent and dark gold eyes glared up at Roy with equal dislike. "Sitting there's not going to clean these floors faster."

A pink tongue escaped thin lips with a raspberry, spraying saliva towards Roy. None of the spit hit him or the desk, but in seconds Roy was up and grabbing his charge, lowering the boys trousers just enough to show cotton covered underwear Roy felt his hand swing down on fleshy cheeks long before it made a connection with his brain. He was disciplining a child – not his child – in a corporal way (something he swore never to do when he did have children). More appalling he was the fact the boy he was swatting twice more was not just any boy but his subordinate. Finally, when his hand burned and Ed's screams became sobs he released the boy – watching the child slide on the floor in a lax fashion. That tantrum was gone, leaving a shell shocked boy. "If you _ever_ disrespect me again, Edward, I'll take you over my knee again. Is this clear?"

The blond nodded, sniveling pitifully.

"Out loud, Edward."

"Yes, sir."

"Now get the cleaning supplies and clean up this office."

"Yes, sir." The child waddled out, holding his bottom in pain. Outside, his officers were staring back with wide eyes. Coughing in his hand, Roy grabbed the stack of papers he'd picked up earlier and went about rearranging them properly.

* * *

_The minute Roy's hand collided with his bottom, Edward had relented his hold over the child (giving it to four-year-old Ed) and went on search for Full Metal. Unsurprisingly, the boy was curled up in the darkness, singing soft tunes and drawing alchemy circles in the air. It would only be a matter of time before the boy would give up and disappear in the darkness. Edward smirked, approaching his new host. "That colonel is a real bastard." _

_"Yes he is, but you deserve it." Full Metal scanned his imaginary alchemy circle, using his palm to erase something only he could see before replacing it with another quick turn of his finger in the air. Edward snorted. Sometimes his host could be a real idiot. "I could feel the pain. He…spanked me because of you." _

_"I hate your fucking little body. And why does milk taste like shit in this form?" Edward inquired. _

_"Because it is shit," Ed chuckled. "When will you go away and give me my life back?" _

_The creation of darkness shrugged its shoulders, Edward's shoulders. "Never. Even if I am a short, milk-hating brat I get everything I could want. I can live for years before I have to go find a new host and no one will be any the wiser that I'm not really you. However, I am having a certain annoying problem with the notebook. Roy has it and I need to destroy it. When will he let his guard down so I can claim it?" _

_"If he's smart, he'd probably of given it to someone else by now. I've known the jerk for a long time – the book is probably as far out of reach as possible and he's raising a suspicious brow towards your behavior. I've always walked on eggshells before mom died. Did anything I could get her smile and attention because she was always upset about dad leaving us. When she died I grew a defiant streak that still sits. If I'm four years old, acting like a brat Roy won't trust you. You dug your own grave." _

_A sharp foot collided into Full Metal's side, taking his breath away. "When you die, I'll be happy." _

_"As will I – when you die." _

_"You know something?" _

_"The Colonel. He'll save me. He's always there when I need him." Ed held his sides, watching angrily as the creature that stole his body disappeared. _

_

* * *

_

Thompson tossed the notebook and a piece of paper on the colonel's desk before lying out on the couch. His uniform pooled around his broad shoulders as he dug crisp boots into the couch. "Complete – now what do I get for all my hard work?"

"Not sent to the stockades for insubordination." Roy took the paper, eyeing the alchemy circle. "Are you able to activate this?"

"I made it didn't I?" The other man sneered. "I can create any alchemy circle just as long as I have the alchemy circle drawn out. Where do you want this thing drawn out?"

Roy rubbed his temples, handing the sheet of paper to the alchemist. At least the guy was capable with his job. "Outside, in the training ground. I'll go collect Full Metal." He left the room so he wouldn't have to see the hazard sprawled across the couch.

After cleaning up Roy's office, Ed had fled to the library – his safe haven ever since he'd gained forgiveness for destroying it. Behind him followed his entire staff, eager to watch this entire nightmare disappear. As he expecting, sitting doll-like, Ed was staring blankly at the wall – lost in his own little world. He'd been told by Riza earlier that Ed was still sulking about being spanked and refused to talk to anyone who tried to coddle him. Bending near Ed, Roy shook the child's shoulder. Gold eyes blinked into focus and narrowed. "Come on. I have…a surprise for you."

"What?" The boy asked.

"Just come." Roy took the boy's hand and pulled him off the chair. "Riza go see when Thompson will be ready while we put Ed into some looser clothing." He grabbed the child, lifting the boy into the air before Ed could run off to hide. "Where's Al?"

Havoc shrugged. "Ran off earlier to collect Mrs. Rockbell from the train station. Since we were coming in to the time that Ed would be returning to his original form, he thought it would be good to have her around in case there is unforeseen damage. Like…the usual missing limbs." Little Ed tensed at the last sentence before flailing around, trying to escape Roy's hold. The colonel's unrelenting grip tightened as they started down the hall towards the lockers just south of the training fields. From a window he was able to see Thompson chalking up a circle large enough to take over the entire sports field, leaving the cement dusty and (if anything) a tad bit ugly. Tiny legs stopped moving and the boy tucked under his armpit. "Did he die?" Havoc leaned forward, looking at the glazed eyes of a four-year-old.

"No," Roy simply sat the child down on the old wooden bench in front of the lockers as a private brought over a large uniform that Edward Elric (even at sixteen) could swim in, "he's throwing a silent tantrum. Just ignore it and he'll stop."

"You're becoming quite the parent colonel."

"Bleh, this was a horrible crash course. I plan to die before I have kids."

Havoc smirked, bringing a cigarette between his lips to chew nimbly at the tar resting on the base. "That kind of defies science to have children after you're dead."

"Shut up, Havoc," Roy grunted as he pulled the tight tunic from Ed's thin body, replacing it with the large shirt. "Stand up, Ed." The little boy muscles stiffened even more and it took both Havoc and Roy to lift the child to his feet. The long PT shirt hung loosely over the boy's right shoulder and fluttered down to his ankles leaving enough decency when they dragged down the child's pants and replaced them with shorts. "Best hold them up yourself, Ed." Roy wrapped the boy's hand around the hem and watched the statuesque Ed with weary eyes. The blond's tight grip around the pants only tightened before wide, tear-filled, gold eyes looked up at Roy. Like a kicked puppy. "What now?"

"I don't want to go away…" The child sniffled. "I like Mister Roy and Momma Riza and Uncle Havoc and…" He ranted to himself, unaware of the snorted down laugh that escaped Havoc at the comment about Momma Riza. He wished she was around to hear that.

And as much as Roy had liked to respond to that comment as Yeah? Well the feelings not mutual – go away, he couldn't. Instead, he patted the child's head feigning a smile. "Of course you're not going away! You want to be an alchemist right? Well all alchemy circles have to be tested before they can be used. We're going to test it on you and if it works, you get to test it on me."

Ed's eyes widened. "Really?"

"I'm an alchemist, believe it."

Touching the boy's back, Roy led him out of the locker room and through the gym until they reached the outside court. There, standing in the center of a large circle was Thompson his uniform dusty and his elbows white from the chalk. The man was yelling towards the roof, asking another alchemist if the circle was in the same shape as the one on the page. Letting Ed drop to the ground, the colonel approached the Captain. "Didn't take very long for you to make this."

"Never does. I only got here because of my speed and accuracy. Apparently that's all they needed for this mission and I was the best. That moron must be important if the government need it fixed up and pronto." Rich brown eyes fell on the loosely dressed child that was kicking up sand. "Oi! He's ruining my circle!"

"Havoc, grab Ed! Thompson, get it repaired. When can we activate this thing?"

Storming towards the edge of the alchemy circle, the Captain threw over his shoulder, "In a few minutes once I repair it. Keep your little monster to yourself."

Grunting, Roy returned to Havoc side, ignoring the kicking feet coming in his direction. "Cheeky little bastard," Havoc hummed past his still unlit cigarette. Who he was talking about – Edward or Thompson – Roy didn't know but he couldn't help but smile and nod his head in agreement. A large crowd of enlisted men and officers had started shaping around the circle, talking vibrantly about what it was for and that – for the second time in their short lives, could watch alchemy at its best in Central's Training Grounds. "Going to be a show tonight."

"Ed deserves the embarrassing attention. He put this unit through enough shit."

Recoiling sharply, Havoc's cigarette hit the ground just as Ed did. The blond wasn't fast enough as Roy grabbed him. "Ow! The little shit bit me, colonel!" The man glared at the boy. Ed hissed, kicking his legs into the back of Roy's shins. "Oh-ho-ho, I can't wait until he's back to normal. At least then it won't be child abuse."

"Hm." Roy tucked the boy under his arm, keeping the boy's feet at length away from his body. "Hurry it up, Captain. There might be a promotion in it if you fix this today."

The man's head shot up, perking at the thought. "Finally! Ten years and I can finally get major!" Chalky fingers touched the pavement again in quick motions once more before shouting up for verification. Given, he jumped to his feet and turned to Roy. "Well, put the little moron in the center. I suggest getting a group of men to circle this – but stay out of the circle – to keep the moron in." The colonel glared at the name given to the blond but he ignored it as he set the fighting Ed in the center, pushing the boy down roughly. The child cried out, trying to claw at Roy's arm but the fire alchemist was already leaving the locked in alchemy circle.

Glaring at the cement, Ed used his shirt to rub the chalk out but it was too late, the white residue was already turning a bright color of activation. He was too slow! Screaming, the child rushed out of the center and towards the outer circle only to be stopped as the light became blinding, pulling him to the earth. "No! I refuse to go back! I'll kill all of you!" The child screamed blindly as his body burned, breaking like a cracked egg leaving a black glob burning in the bright light he'd never grown unaccustomed too. His world, the glorious colors-! He screamed out until his voice became hoarse and disappeared into the air.

When the smoke around the circle dissipated, all that remained was the huddled form a teenager. Edward Elric stared up from the ground, his eyes locking with Roy's. Pink lips quivered, blond hair lowering to the ground in a grimy mess, "Colonel…"

Roy stepped forward, taking the blond in his arms. "It's over now, Full Metal."

"I know."

* * *

It had taken months for things to return to normal.

If that's what one would call it of course. Roy grunted as another bill was sent to him for damage caused by Full Metal. Apparently someone had called him short and he'd all but burned the hut to the ground and the guy wanted compensation for the damage. Groaning, Roy wrote out his name before shoving the form away. At least Ed's personality was still intact. The blond did have some step backs where he'd become so frustrated he'd start to cry, often seeking the colonel's shoulder during those rough moments. They never spoke about it out of embarrassment of their new found 'relationship'. Ed would brush his golden eyes, apologize for ruining the man's uniform and rush off as if nothing more had happened.

Roy's eye twitched as he came across yet another bill from the infamous Full Metal. He destroyed the caboose of a train. "Hawkeye! Get me Full Metal's head!" A gloved hand slapped roughly at the table. His office door cracked open and a blond head stuck in. One he'd rather not see. With a nervous look, Ed grunted as Al pushed him completely in the room. "What the hell is this? Can't you go on one mission without destroying something? We're not made of money!"

"I can explain that! There were robbers on the train and they needed to be caged up! I was a hero!" Ed's fist tightened. "You should be thanking me!"

"Another bill!" Roy tore a page out from under the last. This one was for a hotel bed that had been shaped into a car. Which was odd. Roy stopped ranting, re-reading the bill. "A toy car? What happened?"

Al's metal arm was raised in the back, begging for attention. "I can explain that one! He had a minor setback in the middle of the night and just wanted to play with toys but since we didn't have any little-Ed turned the bed into a toy."

"I did not have a setback. The bed attacked me," Ed puffed out. Roy grunted, signing his name at the bottom of the form before putting it in the outgoing basket. "What's going on anyway at central – I saw them tearing apart the library? Is reading finally mandated?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha, Full Metal," The colonel dryly said, "No. We're looking to make sure the notebook reappeared in there. It disappeared after we locked that creature back into it. Don't need some other idiot activating it. He won't have the luxury of a caring Military Instillation funding to repair it quickly."

Beat red, Ed turned to Al. "Let's go, Al. They're making that alfredo you like at the cafeteria!"

The chunk of metal, though aware that Ed wasn't referring to him liking the alfredo and it was more of his body being used as a storage so Ed could have seconds. "Yum, yum, big brother."

"And bring me a plate." Roy tapped his pen again.

"Yea, Yea, bastard." Ed's eyes glazed over a bit before sharpening. Stepping around Roy's desk, to the man's utter surprise, Ed fell gently towards the colonel. Warm lips brushed the other alchemist's cheek before shying away, the owner running off after the chunk of metal completely red in the face. Touching his cheek, Roy blinked.

Well, Ed wasn't completely better – but it was a nice change of pace.

**-owari-**


End file.
